STACKED

books

Booklist: Queer Black Teen Boys

|

I received a request from a colleague recently for books featuring Black queer boys in our young adult collection. While the canon of young adult literature featuring LGBTQIA+ teens has been growing, this is one area that appears to be lagging behind. It’s easier to find YA literature about Black queer girls (though we need more of those too!). Plus, like most marginalized groups, Black queer boys are more likely to be a supporting character than the protagonist in books where they appear.

I was able to come up with this very brief list, which includes titles the library already owns as well as titles I’m planning to purchase. Most of the titles on the Protagonist list are #ownvoices, and a few are older than I would like (though considered classics). I hope this list helps you out in your own collection/readers’ advisory duties – and perhaps you can help me add to it.

 

As the Protagonist

This is Kind of an Epic Love Story by Kheryn Callender

Nathan Bird doesn’t believe in happy endings. Although he’s the ultimate film buff and an aspiring screenwriter, Nate’s seen the demise of too many relationships to believe that happy endings exist in real life. Playing it safe to avoid a broken heart has been his MO ever since his father died and left his mom to unravel—but this strategy is not without fault. His best-friend-turned-girlfriend-turned-best-friend-again, Florence, is set on making sure Nate finds someone else. And in a twist that is rom-com-worthy, someone does come along: Oliver James Hernández, his childhood best friend. After a painful mix-up when they were little, Nate finally has the chance to tell Ollie the truth about his feelings. But can Nate find the courage to pursue his own happily ever after?

 

Blackbird by Larry Duplechan

First published by St. Martin’s in 1986, Blackbird is a funny, moving, gay coming-of-age novel about growing up black and gay in Southern California. The lead character, Johnnie Ray Rousseau, is a high school student upset at losing the lead role in the school staging of Romeo and Juliet; if that weren’t enough, his best friend has been beaten badly by his father, and his girlfriend is pressuring him to have sex for the first time. All the while, he’s intrigued by Marshall MacNeill, a fellow drama class member who’s surely the sexiest man to walk God’s green earth—at least according to Johnnie Ray. This novel of adolescent awakening is as fresh and heartfelt as it was when first published.

 

Ace of Shades by Amanda Foody

Enne Salta was raised as a proper young lady, and no lady would willingly visit New Reynes, the so-called City of Sin. But when her mother goes missing, Enne must leave her finishing school—and her reputation—behind to follow her mother’s trail to the city where no one survives uncorrupted. Frightened and alone, Enne has only one lead: the name Levi Glaisyer. Unfortunately, Levi is not the gentleman she expected—he’s a street lord and a con man. Levi is also only one payment away from cleaning up a rapidly unraveling investment scam, so he doesn’t have time to investigate a woman leading a dangerous double life. Enne’s offer of compensation, however, could be the solution to all his problems.

Their search for clues leads them through glamorous casinos, illicit cabarets and into the clutches of a ruthless Mafia donna. As Enne unearths an impossible secret about her past, Levi’s enemies catch up to them, ensnaring him in a vicious execution game where the players always lose. To save him, Enne will need to surrender herself to the city… And she’ll need to play.

 

Bereft by Craig Laurance Gidney

Rafael Fannen is a 13-year old boy who has won a minority scholarship to Our Lady of the Woods, an all male Catholic college preparatory school. He lives with his mother who is chronically ill with an undiagnosed illness and also suffers from mental illness, which no one will discuss. Winning the scholarship quickly turns into a nightmare, as Rafe has to deal with the racism of his fellow students and his teachers. Rafe has an ally in Tomas, another scholarship winner from his neighborhood, and they bond against the racism and classism of their fellow students. But that connection is soon sundered.

In addition to the culture shock, Rafe also has to deal with his burgeoning sexuality. Rafe is caught staring at Toby, an attractive and charismatic classmate, in the shower. Toby begins a relentless campaign of bullying against Rafe, including violent encounters. When someone tags the school campus with graffiti, Toby makes sure Rafe becomes the chief suspect. It becomes so bad that even Tomas distances himself from Rafe. The only person who seems sympathetic to him is the chaplain, Vicar Angus Connell. But it soon becomes apparent that the Vicar has designs on Rafe. When Rafe decides to fight back and take control of his life, the lives of everyone around him will change, but none more than his own.

 

The Secrets of Eden by Brandon Goode

When Eden discovers he possesses forbidden magic, keeping his affair with the crown prince a secret becomes the least of his worries. Eden has always obeyed the laws of Rolaria. He spends his days teaching children how to read in order to distract him from his mother’s bizarre disappearance. She worked in the castle before suddenly vanishing, and when Eden mistakenly receives an invitation to the Royal Ball, he goes to feel closer to her.

That same night, Prince Jared must find a bride. But after an unexpected encounter between Eden and the prince, a relationship begins. After a night with the prince, Eden explores the castle on his own. Lost in the corridors, he stumbles upon a hidden room and finds his mother’s journal, whose pages reveal a lineage of outlawed magic. He soon realizes the castle walls not only hide his romance with Jared but secrets about his mother’s disappearance. In order to unravel the mystery and understand his awakening abilities, Eden must risk exposing his relationship and thwarting Jared’s chances to rule Rolaria. The closer Eden gets to the truth, the closer he finds himself facing the same fate as his mother.

 

Sunday You Learn How to Box by Bil Wright

Fourteen-year-old Louis Bowman is in a boxing ring — a housing project circa 1968 — fighting “just to get to the end of the round.” Sharing the ring is his mother, Jeanette Stamps, a ferociously stubborn woman battling for her own dreams to be realized; his stepfather, Ben Stamps, the would-be savior, who becomes the sparring partner to them both; and the enigmatic Ray Anthony Robinson, the neighborhood “hoodlum,” in purple polyester pants, who sets young Louis’s heart spinning with the first stirrings of sexual longing. Bil Wright deftly evokes an unrelenting world with quirky humor and clear-eyed unsentimentality.

 

As a Supporting Character

City of Saints and Thieves by Natalie C. Anderson

In the shadows of Sangui City, there lives a girl who doesn’t exist. After fleeing the Congo as refugees, Tina and her mother arrived in Kenya looking for the chance to build a new life and home. Her mother quickly found work as a maid for a prominent family, headed by Roland Greyhill, one of the city’s most respected business leaders. But Tina soon learns that the Greyhill fortune was made from a life of corruption and crime. So when her mother is found shot to death in Mr. Greyhill’s personal study, she knows exactly who’s behind it.

With revenge always on her mind, Tina spends the next four years surviving on the streets alone, working as a master thief for the Goondas, Sangui City’s local gang. It’s a job for the Goondas that finally brings Tina back to the Greyhill estate, giving her the chance for vengeance she’s been waiting for. But as soon as she steps inside the lavish home, she’s overtaken by the pain of old wounds and the pull of past friendships, setting into motion a dangerous cascade of events that could, at any moment, cost Tina her life. But finally uncovering the incredible truth about who killed her mother—and why—keeps her holding on in this fast-paced nail-biting thriller.

 

I Wish You All the Best by Mason Deaver (forthcoming May 21)

When Ben De Backer comes out to their parents as nonbinary, they’re thrown out of their house and forced to move in with their estranged older sister, Hannah, and her husband, Thomas, whom Ben has never even met. Struggling with an anxiety disorder compounded by their parents’ rejection, they come out only to Hannah, Thomas, and their therapist and try to keep a low profile in a new school.

But Ben’s attempts to survive the last half of senior year unnoticed are thwarted when Nathan Allan, a funny and charismatic student, decides to take Ben under his wing. As Ben and Nathan’s friendship grows, their feelings for each other begin to change, and what started as a disastrous turn of events looks like it might just be a chance to start a happier new life. At turns heartbreaking and joyous, I Wish You All the Best is both a celebration of life, friendship, and love, and a shining example of hope in the face of adversity.

 

The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue by Mackenzi Lee

Henry “Monty” Montague was born and bred to be a gentleman, but he was never one to be tamed. The finest boarding schools in England and the constant disapproval of his father haven’t been able to curb any of his roguish passions—not for gambling halls, late nights spent with a bottle of spirits, or waking up in the arms of women or men.

But as Monty embarks on his Grand Tour of Europe, his quest for a life filled with pleasure and vice is in danger of coming to an end. Not only does his father expect him to take over the family’s estate upon his return, but Monty is also nursing an impossible crush on his best friend and traveling companion, Percy.

Still, it isn’t in Monty’s nature to give up. Even with his younger sister, Felicity, in tow, he vows to make this yearlong escapade one last hedonistic hurrah and flirt with Percy from Paris to Rome. But when one of Monty’s reckless decisions turns their trip abroad into a harrowing manhunt that spans across Europe, it calls into question everything he knows, including his relationship with the boy he adores.

 

Keep This to Yourself by Tom Ryan (forthcoming May 21)

It’s been a year since the Catalog Killer terrorized the sleepy seaside town of Camera Cove, killing four people before disappearing without a trace.

Like everyone else in town, eighteen-year-old Mac Bell is trying to put that horrible summer behind him—easier said than done since Mac’s best friend Connor was the murderer’s final victim. But when he finds a cryptic message from Connor, he’s drawn back into the search for the killer—who might not have been a random drifter after all. Now nobody—friends, neighbors, or even the sexy stranger with his own connection to the case—is beyond suspicion. Sensing that someone is following his every move, Mac struggles to come to terms with his true feelings towards Connor while scrambling to uncover the truth.

 

History is All You Left Me by Adam Silvera

When Griffin’s first love and ex-boyfriend, Theo, dies in a drowning accident, his universe implodes. Even though Theo had moved to California for college and started seeing Jackson, Griffin never doubted Theo would come back to him when the time was right. But now, the future he’s been imagining for himself has gone far off course.

To make things worse, the only person who truly understands his heartache is Jackson. But no matter how much they open up to each other, Griffin’s downward spiral continues. He’s losing himself in his obsessive compulsions and destructive choices, and the secrets he’s been keeping are tearing him apart. If Griffin is ever to rebuild his future, he must first confront his history, every last heartbreaking piece in the puzzle of his life.

 

Decelerate Blue by Adam Rapp and Mike Cavallaro

|

decelerate blue rapp cavallaroIn Rapp’s and Cavallaro’s dystopian near-future, everyone lives their life at high-speed. There’s no time taken for reflection and everything is always go-go-go. In fact, everyone is supposed to say “go” when they’re done talking to indicate that it’s time for the person they’re talking with to reply. It’s not strictly illegal to leave out the “go,” but it’s more serious than a social faux pas (like forgetting to say “please,” for example). Everyone reads abridged versions of classic novels in school, and beds are made upright. This world is more than just annoying, though: it’s a surveillance state, and the government punishes people for not living up to the hyper-efficient ideal, seen most alarmingly when protagonist Angela’s grandfather is sent to a “reduction colony” when his heart rate drops too low for too prolonged a time.

Angela is tired of living this way – and she learns a few others are, too, when she’s recruited into a resistance whose sole purpose is to deliberately slow things down, to dismantle this enforced way of life. The resistance lives underground, unplugged, and they have their own speech patterns, too – they refuse to use contractions, creating an immediately recognizable difference when reading the resistance sections versus the above-ground sections. The resistance, now with the help of Angela, are hatching a plan to make this sort of life possible for others on the outside, too.

The concept is intriguing, and I think a lot of teens will immediately find it relevant to their lives. Parts of the world-building seem like a stretch (upright beds?), but people said that about The Handmaid’s Tale too, and look where we are now. The story’s rhythm takes a while to get used to, mainly because every character really does end their sentences with “go” or eliminate contractions, so no one character really talks like we talk now. Cavallaro’s art is mostly black and white, with some spots of color during particularly emotional or important sections of the story. There’s a nice romance between Angela and a fellow female resistance fighter, and the “decelerate blue” of the title comes into play in a literal and shocking way at the end.

Decelerate Blue is a good question-raiser, even if its themes aren’t explored fully. It’s not a super long graphic novel, and it packs a lot of story into its roughly 200 pages. Somewhat ironically, I wish I could have lingered a little while longer in Rapp’s and Cavallaro’s future world, both the government-controlled one and the resistance, to get a more immersive experience and feel a greater connection to the characters. It felt like the story was sped up a bit, and then it was over too quickly, though the open ending is fitting. This is a good pick for teens who aren’t tired of dystopias yet – and we may actually see a resurgence of interest in this subgenre considering the current climate in this country.

Review copy received from the publisher. Decelerate Blue is available now.

Integrity, Climate Change, Social Justice, and Other Necessary Facts: A Reading List

|

Something I’ve been wanting to do more of is round-up links of interest for older posts we’ve written here at Stacked, as well as older posts you might be interested that Kimberly and I have written elsewhere. Being that we’re on year eight at STACKED, there are so many things we’ve touched upon and dug into, and much of it is perennially interesting.

In the spirit of a US administration bent on the idea of “alternative facts,” denial of climate change, the closing of the investigation into the Flint Water Crisis, and bills meant to restrict access to affordable health care, reproductive choice, and more, it’s hard to want to keep on fighting. It feels like every day is a set of new laws, new proposals, and new stories.

The one place that has been a light — teenagers.

 

A Resource Guide To

 

We’re all aware that Teen Vogue is one of the best journalism sources out there right now, and that’s because they know their audience is smart, savvy, social justice minded teenagers. Teens have been at the forefront of leading marches and protests, and it’s teens who we keep seeing show up again and again to do the work.

I keep trying to find a way to build a booklist that adequately captures what it is teens are thinking and doing, and I realized that we’ve covered so many of these topics here on STACKED That it made a lot more sense to do a big round-up. So here, find yourself big book lists of YA reads covering topics of reproductive rights, social justice, climate change, doing what’s right, truth telling, journalism, and more.

Because the kids? They’re all right. Even in fiction.

And it might be that fiction is where we find the answers that allow us to fight on another day.

Please note: when we changed blog hosting services last summer, some of our older posts got a little weird in their formatting. We’re working on updating those where possible. They’re entirely readable and usable; just sometimes, the images look funny or uneven. Also note that this isn’t comprehensive.

 

 

On Science and Climate Change 

 

 

 

 

 

 

On Women’s Rights and Feminism

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

On Journalism, Censorship, and Integrity

 

 

 

  • A guide to talking about tough books with teens. While this focuses on books relating to sexuality, violence, drugs, and more, the same principles are applicable to talking about the current media and political climate (and women’s/queer rights). This might be a post we revisit, with a focus specifically on those arenas.

 

 

 

On Inclusivity/Race & Diversity 

 

 

 

 

 

 

On Inclusivity/Queer & LGBTQ Rights and Issues

 

 

 

 

 

 

  • On micraggressions and queer phobia in the public library.

 

 

Disability

 

 

 

Socioeconomic Class 

 

 

LGBTQIA+ Roundup

|

This year, I’ve been making more of an effort to read YA books featuring LGBTQIA+ characters. This means I’ve been reading more realistic contemporary YA, since most (but not all!) of these characters are focused there. Here are brief reviews of the five I’ve read so far this year.

LGBTQIA+ roundup

The Great American Whatever by Tim Federle

Sixteen year old Quinn is an aspiring screenwriter, still in the closet, and still grieving over the death of his sister, Annabeth, in a car accident at the end of last school year. He and Annabeth were a dynamic movie-making duo – he would write the scripts and she would direct. Since her death, Quinn hasn’t been able to do much of anything, much less finish a screenplay. He doesn’t even leave his house. Until his best friend Geoff convinces him to go to a college party Geoff’s sister is throwing – and he meets someone there who could maybe be his first more-than-a-friend.

Quinn’s first romance with another boy is a big part of the story, but it’s part of his larger journey in learning to deal with his grief over Annabeth’s death and how it has affected his family and friendships. Federle gives Quinn a great voice; he’s often funny (or irritating, depending on your perspective) and will insert film trivia into everyday conversation, something that will appeal to teens who love movies (current and classics). Federle writes some of Quinn’s story as imagined scenes in a script, which adds interest – it’s like an alternative to a daydream sequence. The romance is exciting and thorny and realistic. I took issue with how Quinn refers to his mother; his father left them following Annabeth’s death and she has gained weight and hoards junk food. While he often calls his mother beautiful, almost every reference of her involves a mention of her weight or her junk food obsession, which I found reductive and shallow. Calling a fat woman beautiful isn’t a band-aid for this and Quinn (or Federle) seems to think it is.

None of the Above by I. W. Gregorio

Kristin learns she’s intersex after she tries to have sex with her boyfriend and it’s extremely painful. She goes to the doctor, who shares the life-changing information with Kristin: she has an X chromosome and traditionally male “parts” – they’re just inside instead of outside. Kristin has androgen insensitivity syndrome, or AIS, which is one of the most common forms of intersex and one where people can outwardly appear biologically female (though people with AIS can exhibit the full range of phenotypes). Kristin tries to hide the diagnosis from everyone she knows, feeling ashamed and like she’s not a “real girl.” But when she lets it slip to one of her best friends one night, the whole school knows the next day, and her nightmare really begins.

This book will be foundational for stories about intersex people. It’s not perfect (the writing is a bit rough and simplistic at times), but it’s a perfect book to lead the way. It’s moving – Kristin slowly does accept herself and reconcile her chromosomal reality with her identity as a girl – as well as educational. I’m certain there will be many readers who won’t even know what being intersex means, not to mention even more readers who haven’t ever heard of AIS and don’t know how it affects people. Gregorio is a doctor and it shows: she gives readers details about Kristin’s condition that are fascinating and important. Kristin has a good voice, and Gregorio doesn’t let her story shy away from how horrible people can be. I was on pins and needles during one scene where the threat of violence loomed so large it was hard to keep reading. I highly recommend this book; it’s a great YA story and it helps fill the “I” gap in in LGBTQIA+ literature for teens.

Draw the Line by Laurent Linn

Adrian is gay, and he knows that if the school bully Doug and his toady Buddy found out about it, he’d be a target for their fists. After all, Doug routinely goes after out-and-proud Kobe. Adrian uses art as an outlet: he invented a gay comic book superhero, Graphite, and regularly posts new stories featuring Graphite and his exploits anonymously online, where he has a small following. But when Doug beats up Kobe so badly he almost dies, Adrian starts to learn that he can’t just stay in the shadows when injustices like this routinely occur – he decides that this is where he draws the line (yes, I worked in the title).

This is probably the weakest of the five I’ve reviewed here. Its strongest aspect is the art: Linn includes several excerpts from Graphite’s adventures and they’re really nicely done. It’s clear Linn/Adrian is a talented artist and storyteller. But overall, the plot is meandering and the writing weak. It feels like half of the novel is exposition, and there are a lot of scenes that don’t serve much purpose. It’s over 500 pages long, and it feels like it. Adrian’s best friends are stereotypes and Doug’s character arc doesn’t make much sense. Linn tries to give Adrian a teen-y voice in his writing style, but it just comes across as unpolished (especially compared to the superior books by Federle and Whaley, both authors whose writing is sophisticated but whose characters feel like teens). It’s still a worthwhile read, but it’s not a standout unless you’re really into the art.

If I Was Your Girl by Meredith Russo

It’s a good thing I branched out more into contemporary reads this year, because this is one of my favorite reads. Amanda moved to live with her dad because it will allow her to go to a different high school, away from the one she was at before where everyone knew her as Andrew. Amanda is a trans girl, and she knows she’s fortunate in that she can pass as a cis girl at her new school – so much so that she’s considered one of the prettiest girls in school. Amanda falls for Grant, despite her vow to keep her head low, stay away from guys, and graduate high school without letting anyone in or causing any trouble, like she promised her dad. But inevitably, the truth comes out, and Amanda must deal with how her newfound friends, boyfriend, and classmates react.

While this book is not without conflict (the threat of violence is always there), it does paint a rosy picture of one trans girl’s experience. Amanda passes easily. She had surgery at a young age so no one can tell she’s trans even with her clothes off. Her parents more or less accept her. By the end of the book, many of the people she came to care about at her new school have accepted her as well, though the journey there is rocky. Russo, who is trans herself, acknowledges this in her author’s notes (she writes one for trans readers and one for cis readers) and says it is deliberate: this is a story of hope. It is also not every trans person’s experience, and shouldn’t be read that way. I’ve seen some reviewers criticize Russo’s writing, but I thought it was quite strong and read as if Amanda herself were writing her story. She has a singular voice and the ability to make readers feel her pain, worries, and frustrations keenly. Lovely throughout, this is highly recommended.

Highly Illogical Behavior by John Corey Whaley

In middle school one day, Solomon had a panic attack and jumped into the fountain at the front of the school. He hasn’t been out of his house in the three years since, trapped by his agoraphobia. His parents seem to have accepted it, long ago giving up on encouraging him to get out of the house. Lisa, one of Solomon’s former classmates, learns of Solomon’s condition and decides to make him her project. She wants to get into a prestigious psychology program at a particular college, and she thinks “curing” Solomon will be just the thing to do that. So she weasels her way into Solomon’s life, eventually bringing her boyfriend in on the scheme as well. Lisa didn’t expect she’d actually like Solomon, that they’d form a true friendship, but that’s what happens. For his part, Solomon is resigned to living the rest of his life in his parents’ house, but he can’t seem to shake Lisa’s overtures of friendship, and when her boyfriend starts coming over too, he can’t seem to shake his burgeoning feelings for him, either.

Whaley’s writing is top-notch, though I would argue that he hammers home his point a little too firmly when it would have been better to just let it sit, the point having already been made. Lisa is a terrible person (one professional reviewer described her as likeable, which I find funny) and I shudder to think what kind of psychologist she would make, but she’s always interesting to read about, and there are plenty of tender moments between her and Solomon. Whaley succeeds at writing Solomon as more than just his illness, as someone who has strengths and personality and smarts even though no one can really see them. What could have been a hackey book is instead something pretty great in Whaley’s hands – his characters come alive and so, too, does the book.

Three of out of these five titles feature gay white teenage boys as their protagonists, and within the still small selection of LGBTQIA+ books for teens, this character dominates. It’s harder to find books featuring girls, teens of color, or characters who don’t identify with the “G” part of the acronym. On that note, next on my list are Georgia Peaches and Other Forbidden Fruit by Jaye Robin Brown, which published yesterday, and As I Descended by Robin Talley, out September 6. I’ll let you know how they are.

Guest Post: Victoria Signorelli and Kathleen Willard of Gay YA

|

 
It’s not often we do guest posts for people who aren’t authors. But today’s guest post, from Vee Signorelli and Kathleen Willard, is one I am so excited to share. If those names don’t sound familiar to you, maybe their blog does. These two ladies — teenagers — run GayYA.org. This is an incredible resource of book reviews, book lists, and discussions about all things relating to LGBTQIA+ in YA, and it’s one that I turn to regularly. If it’s not on your reading radar already, it should be. 
 
Let me reiterate that the two minds behind this site, as well as its Tumblr and Twitter accounts, are teenagers. Their work and their insight into YA is keen and thoughtful, and I had to ask them to come talk about why they started the site, what they offer up on the site, books that have impacted them, and more. 
**
One night in May of 2011, Jessica Verday announced to the internet why she’d pulled out of the anthology Wicked Pretty Things: one of the editors said they would not include her piece unless she changed her m/m pairing to an m/f one. The internet exploded. A #YesGayYA hashtag formed on Twitter. Hundreds of blog posts went up. People came out of the woodwork to talk about similar experiences, and to promote LGBT YA. My older sister and I were both scrolling through our Twitter feeds the night of this announcement. We ushered each other over to read stories of characters being “straightened” by publishers/editors/agents who didn’t think they would sell, or someone explaining why they needed LGBT YA. We both saw the same thing: tons of people calling out for representation, with no way to reach publishers, agents, and editors, and nothing to connect them to each other. To this day, we don’t know who said it. But it was announced, “someone really needs to make a website on all of this stuff.” We looked at each other over the top of our computer screens.

“are you…”

“thinking…?”

“Yes!”

“SAME.”

We realized there was a huge demand for representation of the people, and no one organizing to talk about it past some hashtags on Twitter. We were only sixteen and twelve at the time, but it wasn’t even really a question in our minds: we knew how to do websites, and we knew social media.

We both identified as straight at the time (ha ha), and we really knew nothing about the LGBTQ community. To be honest, we were probably the least qualified people to do the job. But, we had the time and the passion and the knowledge of websites to be able to do it. We made many mistakes: calling a pairing of two bisexual guys “gay” when it should’ve been M/M, using “gay” as an umbrella term for the entire LGBTQIA+ community, and generally just being the most clueless people in the world. It was a learning curve, but once we realized we were not the ones who needed to do the speaking, we got out of the way.

We got some great posts on our site, and many wonderful and rich conversations going. We both enjoyed it, and put a good amount of time into it. But there was only so much effort two presumably straight teens could put into something like this— we were convinced that all LGBT lit was dreary and full of angst, and the words “the problem is, it’s just not good” were muttered frequently. We had no over-arcing vision for the site, and were really getting nothing out of it, except getting to talk to some authors who we were convinced wrote solely angst. So after about two years, we abandoned our site. It was partially due to issues at home, but the site had started to drag on us. If it had been something we were still incredibly passionate about, I don’t think we would’ve let it go.

It didn’t really look like it would ever get going again, especially after my sister headed off to college.

Then, this past winter when I turned sixteen, I went through a process of figuring out my own identity. It was an extremely hard time for me, as I had never heard of either non-binary genders or pansexuality and it took me a long time to realize that they fit me. During this time, I found such solace in books. Beautiful Music for Ugly Children by Kirstin Cronn-Mills really opened up the door to self discovery, because Gabe, the MC was trans and happy. I had the same thing with The Realm of Possibility by David Levithan which made me feel like however I identified would be accepted. And Far From You by Tess Sharpe, which made me feel OK about my attraction to girls. Eventually, I figured out what my identity was through tumblr (non-binary and pansexual), but I got the humanity and the ability to discard shame from books. I remember the first time I held in my hands a book that had me in it (which was Brooklyn, Burning by Steve Brezenoff)– a book that had a happy ending. Every time I was told that people like me didn’t exist, every time I started to believe that I would never be happy, I had something physical to cling to that proved to me I really was here, that I had a chance at a good life.

But I also ran into a lot of difficulty: because most people don’t even know people like me exist, I can count on one hand the books that have non-binary people in them. And I had the resources to be able to find them. I understood more than ever the importance of not only queer YA, but the service I had an opportunity to provide through GayYA.org.

I realized that there were a lot of teens out there like me, looking for themselves in books. And I realized I had a chance to really help them out. So, this March, I decided to start it back up. For the first time since we began, I had a vision and purpose.

Kathleen:

I never “figured out” that I was gay, as so many people do later in life. I knew from the beginning. I thought girls were the bomb. I had a substantial crush on Daphne from Scooby Doo. I also thought that something was horribly wrong with me–that I was wrong, and needed to be fixed–because I did not know that queer people existed.

Representation is pretty important to me.

I don’t know exactly when I figured out that there is a word for what I am, but it hit me somewhere around age nine, watching Willow and Tara become a couple in Joss Whedon’s Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

At age eleven, I came out to my parents, and while they were really surprised, they also really didn’t care who I fell in love with as long as I was happy. The notion that Gay is OK grew and grew in my mind; it cautiously morphed into pride, then bloomed into lesbian feminist rants, and the rest is history.

Flash forward six years and picture an angst-ridden teen riding the bus with a cup of coffee in her hand, wearing enough black clothing and red lipstick and false confidence to be mistaken for a widow spider, while simultaneously searching her person for her bus pass. That’s me.

I have known Vee and Maria, the founders of Gay YA, for years and years; I witnessed the growth of Maria’s first fansite, an homage to Melissa Marr’s Wicked Lovely Series, and the birth of Gay YA.

Early this spring, Vee decided to singlehandedly reboot Gay YA after a dormant period. One day, as I was presumably sipping on tea and V was working on Gay YA’s Tumblr, she said, “What have I done?! I have so much to do!” And I said, “I can do that for you if you want.” She handed me the laptop. This happened several times with several tasks over a period of several months.

In early summer, I said: “Have I become your co-conspirator?”

And she said: “Yeah, if you wanna be.”

I did.

Helping to run Gay YA started out as a cool hobby to promote something very close to my heart; it has become something much bigger and a little bit scary. After running our social media and receiving positive feedback, I realized that I have stumbled backwards into the opportunity to support–even help?!–queer youth just like me, who are looking for themselves on the page.

Vee:

Very frequently, my parents will ask me with a twinge of hope in their voices if I’ve ever rethought getting into this– they still think I’m a straight girl. “No,” I respond with a smile. “Not at all.”

Although my workload is huge and overwhelming and growing every day, re-booting this site has lead to some of the most amazing experiences in my life. I live in Minnesota, which is secretly one of the coolest states in the country (especially in a literary sense). I’ve gotten to meet some of my favorite authors, usually through events at the Loft Literary Center, or Addendum Books. Though it still terrifies me to go up and squeak at them, I now have something I can say. We’ve even gotten to interview some of our favorite authors (like Francesca Lia Block!!).

And we’ve been able to make a difference for teens and adults looking for representation. The last few years have been HUGE for queer YA books— the representation is out there! It’s just hard to find. And we have been able to collect a thorough knowledge of all the titles, and are able to recommend exactly what people are looking for. We’re far from becoming the exhaustive resource that I have my eye set on, but we’re getting closer by the day.

Kathleen:

In the last few months, we have been spectators to the site’s explosion (in a good way).  There has been an influx of posts, followers, questions, and general publicity to the point that that between the two of us, it is a daily struggle to keep everything running smoothly.  Part of the struggle is financial: we each contribute 2-10 hours to the site on any given day (in addition to keeping up with a high school education), for which we are not paid.  For me, this is in addition to a part-time job; for Vee, it means giving up having a job at all. Our operating costs add up to approximately $100/month, which is a LOT when you’re taking from one part-time job and a $40 allowance.

I recently added a donation button to the site– anything is greatly appreciated: 50 cents to $50.

Although something like 50 cents seems like nothing, it really helps us a lot.

Vee:

We have a number of new things happening with our site. We are currently are accepting (until the end of October) applications to become a regular contributor to our site.

We’re also looking to gather a small group of dedicated volunteers to help us with some small but essential tasks, so we can continue tackling the big picture things. We’re completely strung out with everything we’ve got going on now, because it all just sort of happened, and had no grasp on the amount of work it would all take. We have a lot of cool project ideas running around our heads, but no time to enact them, because of all the day-to-day emergencies we have to keep up with. Volunteer help is essential to keeping this community and project moving forward. See here for more information!

I’ve had the opportunity of working with Nita Tyndall on GayYA’s Masterlist Project. We’ve made a wiki and are cultivating a three pronged project to help people looking for queer YA find exactly what they’re looking for. It’s entirely community driven, and we’d love it if you joined us!

We just started up our first book club, and we’re reading Pantomime by Laura Lam. Check out the schedule and how you can participate!

We also have continual opportunities for authors, teens, and everyone else. And if you have an idea for something you’d like to work on with us, or have a question, comments, or anything else, my email is always open at victoria@gayya.org.

We’re really looking forward to expanding this website in new and awesome ways, and we hope that you’ll join us!