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Graphic Novel Roundup

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2019 was a great year for middle grade graphic novels. Here are two recent ones I enjoyed and will often recommend to kids, particularly when their favorites aren’t on the shelf.

 

Sea Sirens: A Trot and Cap’n Bill Adventure by Amy Chu and Janet K. Lee

Vietnamese American surfer girl Trot is surfing with her cat, Cap’n Bill, when she’s pulled beneath the waves into the sea kingdom below. There, Cap’n Bill’s ornery nature manifests in an unexpected way: he can now talk! Trot and Cap’n Bill find themselves caught up in a battle between the Sea Siren mermaids and the Serpent King. Even if they survive, will they be able to make it back to the surface, where Trot’s ailing grandfather waits for them? What’s more – will Trot even want to?

This is a graphic novel after my own heart. I’ve written before about how I learned to read in part from The Wizard of Oz, and its influences upon Amy Chu and Janet Lee’s book are easily noticed. (In fact, it was directly inspired by one of Baum’s other stories, The Sea Fairies, which started out as separate from Oz, but later overlapped.) Kids who have read a few of the Oz novels beyond the first may recognize Trot and Cap’n Bill from The Scarecrow of Oz, Baum’s ninth book in the series, who originally appeared in The Sea Fairies and whose names Chu borrows for her story. Lee’s character designs and costuming are reminiscent of the illustrations by John R. Neill, who illustrated most of the Oz series, including recognizable hairstyles and headpieces. Her vivid art lends itself well to the myriad strange and curious creatures Trot finds in the sea kingdom, creatures with which Oz fans will feel right at home. And the story uses one of the most popular fantasy tropes that Baum visited frequently – that of a girl swept away to a magical land, where animals can talk and adventure awaits. Chu infuses Vietnamese mythology into her story, effectively blending multiple points of inspiration into a unique and compelling graphic novel. A sequel, Sky Island, is due out this summer.

 

Queen of the Sea by Dylan Meconis

Meconis’ book is something a bit different from the usual middle grade graphic novel fare. For starters, it’s alternate historical fiction – based upon the childhood of Queen Elizabeth I – that even adults may find difficult to parse without some research or an author’s note. It’s also quite long at almost 400 pages. This may not be a book a kid (or even an adult) could finish in a single sitting. But for the right kind of reader, the ones who like their stories a bit slower and more contemplative, who are fascinated by the past and how different people used to live, this will hit the spot.

The star of Queen of the Sea is Margaret, an orphan who lives in a convent on a tiny island off the coast of Albion. Her only companions are the nuns who run the convent – some kind, some not – and a boy around her own age, William. Then a mysterious woman arrives, and though her identity is supposed to be a secret, Margaret learns that she is Eleanor, the exiled queen of Albion. Eleanor’s arrival throws Margaret’s life into upheaval, revealing secrets about the convent and bringing the world beyond the island very close to home.

Meconis takes her time with her story, fully developing Margaret and her place on the island, as well as her relationships with the nuns, before bringing in Eleanor to shake things up. Margaret’s relationship with Eleanor is particularly fascinating, both in terms of how they interact with each other and how close Margaret discovers her own story is to Eleanor’s. The world-building is a real treat for historical fiction fans, peppered with little details about what life was like at a convent in the 16th century (for example, the many different times of day the nuns – and Margaret – were required to pray, and what each time for prayer was called). Meconis complements her intriguing, slow burning story with muted full-color art in a mostly realistic style, occasionally breaking away for asides in which Margaret explains convent life to the reader. These parts are reminiscent of an illuminated manuscript in style, a nice touch that adds to the sophistication and design of the entire work of art.

Early 2020 Nonfiction For Young Readers

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It’s the season of lists in the book blogosphere, isn’t it? We’ve moved from favorites and bests of the last year and we’re all now onto the most anticipated of the new year. That’s not a slight on either, but rather an opportunity to see what sorts of books get attention and which ones fall a bit through the cracks.

Nonfiction for young readers — that 10-18 range, which spans both middle grade readers and teen readers — always seems to be one of the categories that doesn’t land on a whole lot of lists. I suspect part of it has to do with the fact these books are still not as widely publicized or reviewed as their fictional counterparts, part of it has to do with the fact it’s a bit of a strange age-range, part of it has to do with the stigma around nonfiction for young readers being “report books” still, and part of it has to do with the fact that many YA-centric reviews/blogs/publicity avenues ultimately cater to the adult reader of YA, as opposed to the young reader. Again, not a slight.

Young readers are the target market of nonfiction for young readers. How the word about these books spreads is just different.

One of the things that makes this category of books so special and has for the better part of the last decade is that they’re inclusive. They showcase a wide range of stories, of insights, and of perspectives.

Let’s take a look at some of the nonfiction for young readers hitting shelves in the early part of 2020. This won’t be a comprehensive list. It’s challenging to know where these books are published, and it’s also challenging to differentiate between books which are meant to help students with research projects and those meant to be more leisure reading without looking at them first hand.

All descriptions are from Goodreads, as are publication dates. As always, publication dates can shift and change. Note, too, that these books cover a slightly different age range that typical YA books. Some will skew a little younger and encompass middle grade readers. I have also included nonfiction comics on the list.

Early 2020 young adult nonfiction to put on your TBR. book lists | YA books | nonfiction books | nonfiction for teen readers | 2020 ya nonfiction | #YALit

Early 2020 Nonfiction For Young Adults

January

Almost American Girl by Robin Ha (1/28)

For as long as she can remember, it’s been Robin and her mom against the world. Growing up in the 1990s as the only child of a single mother in Seoul, Korea, wasn’t always easy, but it has bonded them fiercely together.

So when a vacation to visit friends in Huntsville, Alabama, unexpectedly becomes a permanent relocation—following her mother’s announcement that she’s getting married—Robin is devastated. Overnight, her life changes. She is dropped into a new school where she doesn’t understand the language and struggles to keep up. She is completely cut off from her friends at home and has no access to her beloved comics. At home, she doesn’t fit in with her new stepfamily. And worst of all, she is furious with the one person she is closest to—her mother.

Then one day Robin’s mother enrolls her in a local comic drawing class, which opens the window to a future Robin could never have imagined.

 

 

Flowers In The Gutter by K. R. Gaddy (1/7)

Flowers in the Gutter is told from the points of view Gertrude, Fritz, and Jean, three young people from working-class neighborhoods in Cologne, beginning with their pre-school years at the dawn of the Third Reich in the 1930s. Gaddy shows how political activism was always a part of their lives and how they witnessed first-hand the toll it took on their parents–and how they still carried the torch for justice when it was their turn.

Once the war began, Gertrude, Fritz, and Jean and their friends survived and even resisted in one of the most heavily bombed cities in Germany. Gaddy includes tense accounts of fights with Hitler Youth and the Gestapo, of disseminating anti-Nazi pamphlets, of helping POWs and forced laborers, and even of sabotaging Nazi factories.

Ultimately, the war ended tragically for several young pirates, and Gaddy shows how post-war politics and prejudices led to these young men and women being branded criminals for decades after the war.

 

 

Say Her Name by Zetta Elliott (1/14)

Say her name and solemnly vow

Never to forget, or allow

Our sisters’ lives to be erased;

Their presence cannot be replaced.

This senseless slaughter must stop now.

Award-winning author Zetta Elliott engages poets from the past two centuries to create a chorus of voices celebrating the creativity, resilience, and courage of Black women and girls. Inspired by the #SayHerName campaign launched by the African American Policy Forum, these poems pay tribute to victims of police brutality as well as the activists championing the Black Lives Matter cause. This compelling collection reveals the beauty, danger, and magic found at the intersection of race and gender.

 

 

Stolen Justice: The Struggle For African American Voting Rights by Lawrence Goldstone (1/7)

Following the Civil War, the Reconstruction era raised a new question to those in power in the US: Should African Americans, so many of them former slaves, be granted the right to vote?

In a bitter partisan fight over the legislature and Constitution, the answer eventually became yes, though only after two constitutional amendments, two Reconstruction Acts, two Civil Rights Acts, three Enforcement Acts, the impeachment of a president, and an army of occupation. Yet, even that was not enough to ensure that African American voices would be heard, or their lives protected. White supremacists loudly and intentionally prevented black Americans from voting — and they were willing to kill to do so.

In this vivid portrait of the systematic suppression of the African American vote, critically acclaimed author Lawrence Goldstone traces the injustices of the post-Reconstruction era through the eyes of incredible individuals, both heroic and barbaric, and examines the legal cases that made the Supreme Court a partner of white supremacists in the rise of Jim Crow. Though this is a story of America’s past, Goldstone brilliantly draws direct links to today’s creeping threats to suffrage in this important and, alas, timely book.

 

 

Where’s My Stuff? by Samantha Moss, Lesley Martin, and illustrated by Michael Wertz (1/7)

Helps to learn how to organise your school stuff, your time, and your room. This book includes: notebook systems; backpack maintenance tips; practical pointers for managing your schedule; a template for your own personalised daily planner; and, interior design-inspired techniques to make your room your favourite place to be.

 

 

 

 

You Too? edited by Janet Gurtler (1/7)

A timely and heartfelt collection of essays inspired by the #MeToo movement, edited by acclaimed young adult and middle-grade author Janet Gurtler. Featuring Beth Revis, Mackenzi Lee, Ellen Hopkins, Saundra Mitchell, Jennifer Brown, Cheryl Rainfield and many more.

When #MeToo went viral, Janet Gurtler was among the millions of people who began to reflect on her past experiences. Things she had reluctantly accepted—male classmates groping her at recess, harassment at work—came back to her in startling clarity. She needed teens to know what she had not: that no young person should be subject to sexual assault, or made to feel unsafe, less than or degraded.

You Too? was born out of that need. By turns thoughtful and explosive, these personal stories encompass a wide range of experiences and will resonate with every reader who has wondered, “Why is this happening to me?” or secretly felt that their own mistreatment or abuse is somehow their fault—it’s not. Candid and empowering, You Too? is written for teens, but also an essential resource for the adults in their lives—an urgent, compassionate call to listen and create change.

 

 

February

Jane Against The World: Roe v. Wade and The Fight for Reproductive Rights by Karen Blumenthal (2/25)

Tracing the path to the landmark decision in Roe v. Wade and the continuing battle for women’s rights, Blumenthal examines, in a straightforward tone, the root causes of the current debate around abortion and repercussions that have affected generations of American women.

This eye-opening book is the perfect tool to facilitate difficult discussions and awareness of a topic that is rarely touched on in school but affects each and every young person. It’s also perfect for fans of Steve Sheinkin and Deborah Heiligman.

This journalistic look at the history of abortion and the landmark case of Roe v. Wade is an important and necessary book.

 

 

 

The Rise and Fall of Charles Lindbergh by Candace Fleming (2/11)

First human to cross the Atlantic via airplane; one of the first American media sensations; Nazi sympathizer and anti-Semite; loner whose baby was kidnapped and murdered; champion of Eugenics, the science of improving a human population by controlled breeding; tireless environmentalist. Charles Lindbergh was all of the above and more. Here is a rich, multi-faceted, utterly spellbinding biography about an American hero who was also a deeply flawed man. In this time where values Lindbergh held, like white Nationalism and America First, are once again on the rise, THE RISE AND FALL OF CHARLES LINDBERGH is essential reading for teens and history fanatics alike.

 

 

 

 

 

March

Apollo 13: A Successful Failure by Laura B. Edge (3/3)

“Houston, we’ve had a problem.”

On April 13, 1970, the three astronauts aboard the Apollo 13 spacecraft were headed to the moon when a sudden explosion rocked the ship. Oxygen levels began depleting rapidly. Electrical power began to fail. Astronauts James Lovell, Jack Swigert, and Fred Haise were about to be stranded in the inky void of outer space.

The mission to the moon was scrapped. Now, Apollo 13‘s only goal was to bring the crew home. With the damaged spacecraft hurtling towards the moon at roughly six thousand miles per hour, there was little hope of success. But the astronauts and mission control were fully prepared to do whatever it took to return the crew to Earth.

This space disaster occurred at the peak of the United States’ Space Race against the Soviet Union. But for four days in 1970, the two nations put aside their differences, and the entire world watched the skies, hoping and praying the astronauts would return safely. As missions to Mars and commercial space flight become a reality, the time is now to be reminded of our common humanity, of how rivals can work together and support each other towards a shared goal. Because no matter what happens or where we travel, we all call Earth home. 

 

Earth Day and the Environmental Movement: Standing Up for Earth by Christy Peterson (3/3)

On April 22, 1970, an estimated twenty million people held in a teach-in to show their support for environmental protections. This new celebration, Earth Day, brought together previously fragmented issues under the same banner. It was the largest nationwide event ever, and lawmakers took notice.

But one day didn’t change everything. Fifty years after the first Earth Day, climate change remains a dire concern. The divide between political parties continues to widen, and environmental policy has become an increasingly partisan issue. The spread of disinformation has also made climate change a debatable idea, rather than scientific fact. A new generation of advocates continue the fight to make environmental policy a top priority for the United States and for nations around the globe.

 

 

 

 

The Fire Never Goes Out by Noelle Stevenson (3/3)

In a collection of essays and personal mini-comics that span eight years of her young adult life, author-illustrator Noelle Stevenson charts the highs and lows of being a creative human in the world. Whether it’s hearing the wrong name called at her art school graduation ceremony or becoming a National Book Award finalist for her debut graphic novel, Nimona, Noelle captures the little and big moments that make up a real life, with a wit, wisdom, and vulnerability that are all her own. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fly Like A Girl: One Woman’s Dramatic Fight in Afghanistan and on the Homefront by Mary Jennings Hegar (3/3)

On July 29, 2009, Air National Guard Major Mary Jennings Hegar was shot down while on a Medevac mission in Afghanistan. Despite being wounded, her courageous actions saved the lives of her crew and their patients, earning her the Purple Heart as well as the Distinguished Flying Cross with Valor Device. That day also marked the beginning of a new mission: convincing the U.S. Government to allow women to serve openly on the front line of battle for the first time in American history.

With exclusive photographs throughout, Fly Like a Girl tells the inspiring true story of Mary Jennings Hegar–a brave and determined woman who gave her all for her country, her sense of justice, and for women everywhere. Includes exclusive photographs throughout, a discussion guide, and a Q&A with the author written specifically for teen readers. 

 

 

 

 

Stamped: Racism, Antiracism, and You by Jason Reynolds and Ibram X. Kendi (3/10)

This is NOT a history book.
This is a book about the here and now. 
A book to help us better understand why we are where we are.
A book about race. 

The construct of race has always been used to gain and keep power, to create dynamics that separate and silence. This remarkable reimagining of Dr. Ibram X. Kendi’s National Book Award-winning Stamped from the Beginning reveals the history of racist ideas in America, and inspires hope for an antiracist future. It takes you on a race journey from then to now, shows you why we feel how we feel, and why the poison of racism lingers. It also proves that while racist ideas have always been easy to fabricate and distribute, they can also be discredited. 

Through a gripping, fast-paced, and energizing narrative written by beloved award-winner Jason Reynolds, this book shines a light on the many insidious forms of racist ideas–and on ways readers can identify and stamp out racist thoughts in their daily lives.

 

April

All Boys Aren’t Blue by George M. Johnson (4/28)

In a series of personal essays, prominent journalist and LGBTQIA+ activist George M. Johnson explores his childhood, adolescence, and college years in New Jersey and Virginia. From the memories of getting his teeth kicked out by bullies at age five, to flea marketing with his loving grandmother, to his first sexual relationships, this young-adult memoir weaves together the trials and triumphs faced by Black queer boys.

Both a primer for teens eager to be allies as well as a reassuring testimony for young queer men of color, All Boys Aren’t Blue covers topics such as gender identity, toxic masculinity, brotherhood, family, structural marginalization, consent, and Black joy. Johnson’s emotionally frank style of writing will appeal directly to young adults. 

 

 

 

 

Dancing at the Pity Party by Tyler Feder (4/14)

Part poignant cancer memoir and part humorous reflection on a motherless life, this debut graphic novel is extraordinarily comforting and engaging.

From before her mother’s first oncology appointment through the stages of her cancer to the funeral, sitting shiva, and afterward, when she must try to make sense of her life as a motherless daughter, Tyler Feder tells her story in this graphic novel that is full of piercing–but also often funny–details. She shares the important post-death firsts, such as celebrating holidays without her mom, the utter despair of cleaning out her mom’s closet, ending old traditions and starting new ones, and the sting of having the “I’ve got to tell Mom about this” instinct and not being able to act on it. This memoir, bracingly candid and sweetly humorous, is for anyone struggling with loss who just wants someone to get it.

 

 

 

 

In Good Hands: Remarkable Female Politicians from Around The World by Stephanie MacKendrick (4/14)

Written for young women interested in running for office, this book is unlike any other, with inspiring stories of eighteen women role models along with the all the tools and resources needed to get a campaign off the ground.

Stephanie MacKendrick, a former journalist now dedicated to women’s career advancement, believes the time for women in political leadership is now. Judging by the recent wave of activism that developed into a flood of women seeking elected office, she’s not alone. 

MacKendrick has created a one-of-kind insider’s guide for young women interested in joining this movement and becoming part of the political system. It explores everything from what to expect in a campaign, to how to deal with the inevitable challenges, to why it’s A truly original book about running for office written specifically for young women, with inspiring stories of eighteen role models who took the plunge, and all the tools and resources needed to get a campaign off the ground.

No matter where you live or who you hope to represent, the experience of running for office is different if you are a woman. This one-of-a-kind insider’s guide is perfect for young women who are ready to make change. It combines uplifting stories of women from around the world who have run for office with practical advice for anyone who wants to follow in their footsteps. It explores everything from what to expect in a campaign, to how to deal with the inevitable challenges, to why it’s worth it to run. 

 

One Earth: People of Color Defending Our Planet by Anuradha Rao (4/7)

One Earth profiles Black, Indigenous and People of Color who live and work as environmental defenders. Through their individual stories, the book shows that the intersection of environment and ethnicity is an asset to achieving environmental goals. The twenty short biographies introduce readers to diverse activists from all around the world, who are of all ages and ethnicities. From saving ancient trees on the West Coast of Canada, to protecting the Irrawaddy dolphins of India, to uncovering racial inequalities in the food system in the United States, these environmental heroes are celebrated by author and biologist Anuradha Rao, who outlines how they went from being kids who cared about the environment to community leaders in their field. One Earth is full of environmental role models waiting to be found.

This Week at Book Riot

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Over on Book Riot this week…

  • 170+ YA books hitting shelves in the first quarter of 2020. Bulk up that TBR!

There’s also a new episode of Hey YA. Eric and I talk about our reading goals for the year, along with some of our most anticipated new reads. Oh, and we have an announcement: the show will be going weekly! You’ll have to tune in to see what those new episodes will sound like.

The Parker Inheritance by Varian Johnson

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One of my most cherished memories from my childhood is reading The Westing Game by Ellen Raskin with my mother. We kept a little notebook, sized for little hands, where I would write down all of the clues from Mr. Westing’s will and everything else that was revealed along the way. I still remember the way I felt when I put the clues together into a a very big clue that led me to the big reveal – before Turtle herself had figured it out! I loved the wordplay and the puzzles and the fact that Raskin made solving this one achievable for a kid like me.

The Westing Game likely wasn’t the first mystery I read, but it certainly spurred my lifelong love for them. I still get a thrill every time I figure out a mystery on my own, whether it’s in a book, a game, or a play. Of course, nothing quite matched the magic of that first experience with The Westing Game.

Enter Varian Johnson and The Parker Inheritance. I was lucky enough to see Johnson, a local Austin author, speak at an event recently, which convinced me to finally pick up my copy of The Parker Inheritance and give it a read. I was so delighted the whole way through. The Parker Inheritance is a mystery predominantly based on puzzles and riddles contained within a letter from an eccentric individual who has recently died, much like Raskin’s Newbery winner from 1978. Reading it brought back the joy I experienced when reading The Westing Game, but this is no imitation. Johnson has created a unique mystery that feels fresh and modern, one that kids will love trying to solve alongside his protagonists.

Candice Miller and her mom – recently separated from her dad – are staying in Candice’s grandmother’s old home in Lambert, South Carolina while their home is renovated. Candice’s grandmother died a short while ago, but she was infamous in Lambert for digging up historic tennis courts to try and find treasure underneath (none was found). She lost her job as assistant city manager because of it.

When Candice is exploring the attic, though, she finds a letter addressed to her grandmother, a letter that explains why she would have done such a seemingly inexplicable thing as dig up a treasured community space in the middle of the night without any permission or authorization. The letter tells of an old injustice done upon the family of a young woman named Siobhan Washington, and how the letter writer planned to visit justice upon the culprits. The letter writer has hidden a great treasure somewhere within Lambert for the person who can find it, and everything needed to figure out the mystery is contained within the letter itself. Candice’s grandmother tried and failed; Candice is determined to finish the job.

After a rocky start, she teams up with Brandon Jones, the boy across the street, and the two set about solving the mystery involving a Black family (the Washingtons) who lived in the segregated town of Lambert in the 1950s. Johnson’s novel tackles the racism Siobhan and her family experienced then as well as the racism Candice and Brandon (who are also Black) experience even now, pitching everything perfectly to a middle grade audience. The Washingtons’ story is heartbreaking, full of twists and turns and surprises that are revealed slowly as the kids figure out the series of clues. Johnson peppers the book with flashbacks, first to the patriarch of the Washingtons when he was a child of sharecroppers in the early 1900s, then to the events of the 1950s, where the bulk of the story takes place, and finally to the decades afterward, where readers learn about the rippling effects of everything that happened.

The Parker Inheritance is such a fun book that doesn’t sacrifice depth. Candice and Brandon are well-realized characters that readers will root for, and their sadness and horror and anger at discovering what happened to Siobhan and her family will mirror young readers’. Readers will be able to follow the clues as Candice and Brandon discover them; some may even figure out some vital information before they do! Johnson’s story has a lot to say not only about the ingenuity of kids, but also about racism, human nature, forgiveness, and revenge. The later chapters focusing on the decades after the tragedy of the 1950s were my favorite: bittersweet and lovely and ultimately hopeful. This is a book that can be read on multiple levels; the luckiest readers will understand it on all.

Personal copy

Books That Are Helping Me Right Now

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On December 23, my grandma passed away peacefully. I was there with her, along with my mom, as well as two of my mom’s friends. She was 83, and up until two weeks prior, had still been working and driving and never needed any help getting around.

To say it happened swiftly and shockingly is an understatement. 

My grandma was like a parent to me. I lived with her and my grandfather from the time I was in kindergarten until I graduated high school. This loss has been, and continues to be, like that of losing a parent.

Christmas was a lot sadder this year, though we all did the best we could. We knew we’d all be getting back together again in a few days to plan, and then attend, a funeral. 

I did a lot of driving back and forth the second half of December, between my home and my mom’s, about an hour and a half away. I quickly realized being in silence was the furthest thing from helpful for me. I also realized that trying to rush any feelings or grief, trying to wrap up any loose ends or be fully available for anyone else at the drop of a hat, simply wasn’t possible. 

I needed instead to give myself space to breath and space to feel.

The day before she died, I had a suspicion that there wouldn’t be a miracle. She wouldn’t want any intervention, and she’d certainly have been angry to know what state she was in at the end. I prepared myself both by giving myself said space and by seeking out books which might be helpful in the immediate days and weeks following her passing. 

I’m not religious. I tried a number of areas of belief and nothing’s quite gelled with me. I have, however, found yogic philosophy and Buddhist philosophies to align closest to my mindset, both as we are here as people, as well as in what might lie for us after death. I wanted a book or two that would come at loss from these perspectives, as I am comfortable there, as well as comfortable navigating the areas which don’t resonate with me in some way. 

I got a number of great recommendations from fellow readers, as well as from those who aren’t necessarily readers but who have themselves experienced big loss. Here’s what I picked up and what’s been especially helpful for me. 

24/6 by Tiffany Shlain

What would a book about unplugging from the online world for a day have to do with grief and loss? I wouldn’t have ever expected this book to me what helped me in those most tender moments during my driving, but it did.

Shlain’s book is about her family’s practice of a tech Shabbat. Each Friday evening, the entire family unplugs and shuts down all technology so they can focus on doing things that require no tech. This means planning out travel routes prior to Friday night to print directions or making use of an old-school map if they forget or choose to travel elsewhere. It means no cell phones but reliance on a landline in the event there’s an emergency. 

About 2/3 of the way through the book, though, Shlain — who performs the audiobook herself — starts to talk about losing her father. She talks about how important having time with her husband and kids without the noise of the rest of the world was. This hit me so hard, and it was a powerful reminder to be there with my grandmother in the hospital.

The discussion of grief and loss here was surprising, and it tapped something deep in me. Both because I felt everything Shlain was talking about and because it reminded me how precious or time really is and how saying no to screens for a measly 24 hours can really and truly make an impact on your relationships.  

Walking Each Other Home: Conversations on Loving and Dying by Ram Dass and Mirabai Bush

Christmas week had something in the air, as Ram Dass passed the day before my grandma did. I began to dig into his teachings earlier this year, thanks to my 500-hour teacher training modules, and it felt right to pick up this book. 

This isn’t a typical narrative nonfiction title. Instead, it’s a series of conversations held between Bush and Dass about what happens after we die. Dass, whose life was completely changed after a stroke, had done a lot of thinking about death and what comes after, and Bush talks with him about our spirits and where they go once we leave our bodies. 

We fear death because we don’t know it, and Dass walks through getting to know what death is and how to come to peace with the fact it happens to us all at some point, as well as to everyone we love. He talks about how to sit with the dying, as well as how to grieve, and I found so much comfort in how my grandmother’s death happened, as well as the choices we made as a family afterward. 

I love the idea that death is the beginning of a new type of relationship. There’s something extremely comforting in that, and it’s been a rock in my grieving. I can feel and experience the sadness, but I can also have a relationship with my grandma in a new and different way. I can’t call her on the phone or hear her laugh again, but I can see her in many new, different ways and that will never go away until I do. 

True Refuge: Finding Peace and Freedom In Your Own Awakened Heart by Tara Brach

I’ve read Tara Brach before — her Radical Acceptance is a great primer for Buddhist teachings for those who have no knowledge of them. But I picked this one up because it seemed like a good one to pair with the Dass book and I wasn’t wrong. I popped this on audio and listened during my drives.

Brach’s book is about the ways we find refuge when life gets hard. We can find true refuge, which requires getting real with your experiences, your emotions, your actions, and your thoughts. We can also find false refuges, which are tools we use to feel better but don’t actually help us feel better (think: alcohol, eating, etc). Through meditations, examples, and practices, Brach digs into how we can cultivate the true refuge within us.

The idea of letting what is be is simple, conceptually, but in practice, it’s hard as hell. This was a reminder that that’s important to do, though, as it’s a practice in understanding suffering and non-attachment. Being able to get radically present with anything, especially grief, is a hard-earned gift but it’s been a buoy to me.

Other Books On My Pile

I haven’t gotten to everything I want to read, and chances are good that I’ll seek out more books as the rawness begins to smooth a bit more. Here’s what’s on my pile — if you’ve got other recommendations akin to these, I’d love to hear them. I’d prefer not to read about the dying process or memoirs about loss but rather, the deeper philosophical/spiritual side of things.

*When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Hard Times by Pema Chödrön

*Yoga for Grief: Simple Practices for Transforming Your Grieving Mind and Body by Antonio Sausys

*It’s OK That You’re Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn’t Understand by Megan Devine