Imagine being the person who did something really, really horrible. Imagine knowing you did it and admitting to yourself you did it but maybe not entirely understanding why you did it. Imagine walking around for weeks and month afterward wondering if you are ever going to get caught and if people know but are leading you on in believing they don’t know.

Welcome to the life of our anonymous main character. On Saturday, September 17, his life changes in one move. When Jared ditches him for a girl — dropping their plans to finally skate in Paranoid Park — our main character decides to strike out on his own and observe the park’s regulars. That’s when he meets Scratch. That’s when he and Scratch run.

That’s when he does the horrible thing that will never go away.

Paranoid Park might be on my list of all-time favorite reads. The main character is immediately engaging, and his voice is authentic. This is a book with power to grab the reader and keep them glued to the story without a single break.

We know just a few pages in what happens and what our narrator has done, but we’re not given a completely clear vision of where the story is going. Instead, we must ride along, feeling the same sense of dread, paranoia, and fear that permeates the every movement of the character. We’re confronted, too, with conflicted feelings of whether we have sympathy or not for the main character — since we’re in his head and know precisely why he did what he did, we want to feel sorry for him. But because we know what he did was SO WRONG, we can’t help but also feel like he needs to be punished.

Backing up a second, let me bring up the fact we also know something big has happened in the space of time between the September 17 event and when the story begins. The story is told in the form of letters to someone anonymous, and the first letter’s date is January 3. That’s three and a half months of time we’re going to learn about in the span of a relatively short book. Besides being inside the main character’s head and experiencing his exact thoughts and emotions, we’re also outside of it, trying to piece together what happens in this time. And there is a heck of a lot packed into those pages.

Oh, also, there’s a girl involved. And the relationship between our main character and the girl is so well done. It’s a real teen guy/girl relationship and in the end might be one of the sweetest or creepiest ones I’ve read in a long time. I’m still unsure. But that all goes back to Nelson’s ability to put me both inside and outside of this character’s head.

Days after finishing this one, I’m still thinking about it and trying to decide how I feel about what happened. I really liked the main character, but at the same time, I feel wrong feeling that way about someone who did something as criminal as he did. Even if it wasn’t premeditated.

This book reminded me quite a bit of Mark Shulman’s Scrawl in set up and execution, but if I were to be honest, I found Nelson’s voice and story thrust much more compelling and engaging. Paranoid Park is a book with massive guy appeal, with particular appeal to those who like stories that involve the underground kids (the ones here are skateboarders). It’s a fast paced read, so it will work well for reluctant readers, too. Anyone who wants a book that will creep into their bones and unsettle their minds will appreciate this noir story.