Well, I’m back. About two weeks ago, I officially “resigned” from Stacked and decided to hang up my hat as a book blogger. While I’ve absolutely loved contributing these past few years, I was starting to feel overwhelmed. My daughter just turned five months old, summer reading is starting at my library, my “to read” pile was growing ever bigger and more precarious, and I was desperately trying to find that elusive “balance” that we all seek. That sweet spot between family time, self time, work time, and down time. I figured that blogging didn’t fit into my life anymore, and honestly, I was starting to feel a bit burnt out overall. Rather than reading what I wanted to, I was attacked by that nagging sense of “I should read this book because it’s supposed to be the next hot thing” and “you shouldn’t read that adult fiction book you’ve been wanting to because there are so many YA ARCs sitting over there on your bookshelf.”

So I quit. Cold turkey. Emailed Kelly and Kim and let them know that blogging was cutting into that balance that I was striving to find. Those of you who follow me on Twitter (@jpetroroy) and Facebook may have also noticed that I posted updates stating that I was taking the entire month of June off from all social media, cutting the cords, going off the grid. I thought that that would restore a sense of serenity to my life, that without the obligation I felt to read, review, update Facebook with my latest goings-on, and tweet the latest humorous work anecdote, I would have more time for me. I could read what I wanted, write more, and spend more time with my family.

Ultimately, I lasted about a day and a half before I logged back on to Twitter and Facebook. And honestly, I don’t count this as a failure at all, because it made me realize some really important things about how social media, blogging, and the internet factor into both my daily life and into how society interacts in today’s modern age.

Because honestly, I came back because I missed people. Because of my busy life now, Twitter and Facebook have become a way to connect with my friends. Yes, I have friends from high school that I still talk to. Yes, I have “real life” friends that I hang out with on a regular basis. But honestly, social media has created some of the best friendships of my life. I “met” my best friends in the entire world, a group of librarians all in the Boston area, on Twitter. Some of us knew each other in real life before, but only slightly. But then through daily conversations on Twitter, we spent hours getting to know each other. Now we get together on a regular basis and we all witnessed two of them marry each other this past weekend. Four other librarians and I use the hashtag #babysupport group to trade advice about our babies, commiserate, and cheer each other on. I’ve never met Kelly and Kim in real life, yet I count them as close friends because of the almost daily emails we trade back and forth. And I use Facebook to chat with those “real life” friends who don’t live close to me anymore. After only a day, the idea of cutting off that contact entirely for a month just plain made me sad. Because I’m a social person who often doesn’t have time to be social. And social media closes that gap for me.

Blogging is the same way. I love the community of book bloggers that has risen up over the past few years, and I love being a part of it. I started blogging because I love reading, love engaging in conversations about what worked and what didn’t work in a text, love figuring out just why I get a certain book and why it gets me. And that hasn’t changed.

What changed was me. I tend to be a very black and white person, and this past month was no different. What I didn’t realize was that social media and blogging are not an all or nothing proposition. No one was forcing me to check Twitter before I went to bed, to see if anything amusing had happened to someone else besides me. No one was forcing me to read the latest YA release. If I wanted to read some chick lit or some nonfiction, I could. The obligation was emanating entirely from myself. I was burnt out on the pressure I was placing on me, not on blogging and reading.

And that meant that it could be taken away.

I know what I value now. I value time with my daughter and my husband. That takes priority above all. I value writing and I value reading what I want. But I also value the connections that social media gives to me, the pride I feel over a particularly well-crafted blog post or book review. And I especially value the friends that I made along the way. I can’t give that up for a month, and I don’t want to. Because I still need to make time for me, still need to value what I love and what gives me fulfillment.

What it all comes down to is balance. I realize now that the instant gratification of social media can become a bit of an addiction, especially when you’re checking it multiple times a day. So I cut down. That’s sensible, not black and white.

I can still be a mother, a wife, and a librarian without giving up the connections and the blogging that I love. It’s just time for moderation, to always check in with myself about what I value.

So, anyway, I’m back!

Have you ever had trouble balancing social media with real life?