I was flipping through a review copy of The Novice by Taran Matharu and a particular name jumped out at me: Briss. This is the not the name of the main character, but my initial reaction nonetheless was “That’s unfortunate.” It’s not a great pick. If I were the editor of this particular book (and in my dreams, I edit all the books so no one I love ever dies), I would have put a red X through that name straightaway.
Fantasy and science fiction novels get a lot of flack for ridiculous names, sometimes earned. Briss probably isn’t the worst name ever, but in its honor, I thought it would be fun to list a few other terribly unfortunate names readers have suffered through. What names would you add?
1. Po from Graceling by Kristin Cashore. Po chooses to go by Po because he thinks it’s better than his given name, Greening. It’s not.
2. Bitterblue from Bitterblue by Kristin Cashore. I guess her father hated her. (See what I did there?) Sorry for picking on you, Kristin.
3. Albus Severus Potter from Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by J. K. Rowling. Yes, it’s a name with meaning, and yes, the Harry Potter series is full of some interesting name choices, but this one is doubly unfortunate because it’s a poor child who is saddled with it.
4. Tookie de la Creme from Modelland by Tyra Banks. Kelly and I are still eagerly awaiting the sequel.
5. Peeta from The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins. It’s a little too on the nose that he’s a baker and his name is Peeta. Incidentally, I now only refer to him as Peeta Bread. And now I want a sandwich.
6. Benedict Cumberbatch from The Hobbit. Technically middle grade, not YA, but I’m including it because I am a rebel. (That’s the name of a real person, you say? Well, that’s unfortunate.)