There Is No “Best of” List From Me This Year

December 27, 2021 |

I’m not sharing my “best of” books list this year, and it’s not because there weren’t books that knocked it out of the park this year. There were. The books which really stood out to me were able to carry me through seasons of this year that were challenging, frustrating, joyous, and uncertain. They held me when I felt untethered. They gave me fuel to survive another day, especially those months of lonely maternity leave between baby naps, feedings, changes, and snuggles. I spent June reading and reading and reading and immersing myself in words in a way I hadn’t in a long time and doing so truly kept me sane (alongside medication, of course).

There’s not a best of for me this year, though. I don’t have it in me to look through what I’ve read — a little under 100 books, which is both better and weaker than I’d hoped — and talk about why these books were so great. I’m tired and burned out and worried.

It’s been nine months since my child was born, and in those nine months, I’ve done nothing different than I have since I was pregnant in July of 2020. Nothing different since the pandemic ignited in March of that same year. To explain just how lonely and painful it’s been would be impossible. Words don’t describe the feeling of lying in bed after hitting snooze four times and desperately wanting to do anything but get up. Words don’t explain the reality of navigating simple errands like grocery shopping and having to use the precious free time you have on weekends to coordinate childcare to do it so your unvaccinated, unprotected child isn’t put in the possibility of harm’s way. Words can’t convey the complex and crappy math equations done every single day to determine if this scenario is safe enough for you or if it’s once again time to say sorry, but those obligations won’t be met.

I’ve never looked at books as a form of escape, and I still don’t. They’re just part and parcel of how I navigate life, weaving periods of ravenous consumption with periods where I don’t touch a book or audiobook for weeks. This year, they punctuated the most stressful times and the ones where I could let out a breath.

I remember just a day after having my baby and being readmitted to labor and delivery for postpartum preeclampsia and holding her. i looked at her, looked at the monitors on my body, the beep beep beeps of alarms going off because things were still not okay with me. In those moments, I thought about how I needed to do something that would make an impact, something that would touch people’s lives in their most vulnerable and challenging moments. I believe I’ve had a good dose of doing that this year, especially in highlighting the efforts to ensure censorship doesn’t dismantle the First Amendment rights of all people in the US this year.

Those things have added to my life in substantial ways. Those actions made me fiercely passionate for what else I could do, even if from the space where I’ve set up an office at home: my beat-up, third-family-to-own couch, pockmarked with rabbit holes, cat fur, and stains of unknown origin.

A lot of wheels are in motion and continue to move.

This year, I don’t want to celebrate the best books of the year because every book I picked up this year mattered to me in some way. Maybe I didn’t like it, but I embraced quitting this year more than ever. If a book didn’t grab me, if it didn’t compel me to keep going, I dropped it and moved on.

Those books which did move me I spent all year talking about whenever and wherever I could. I know I could do more, could shout about them more here, but I’m not. Instead, I’m going to let the things I took from those reads sit within me and only within me. To let them fuel what comes next and what corners I can turn in the coming year.

I don’t believe 2022 is going to be different than this year. I’m not being cynical or pessimistic. Rather, I’m coming from seeing what’s played out the last two years, both globally and in my own backyard, and I’m approaching it from a place of realism. There will be good days and there will be bad ones. There will be moments when I don’t think I can get out of bed and other days when I could stay up all night, lying to myself I’ll close my book when I finish one more page, one more chapter.

The book of my life had so many twists this year, as did the larger narrative of what life is and means more broadly. I don’t plan to ever stop talking about books and reading, nor do I plan to stop blogging about either. But this year has given me the tools to see when it brings me something and when it takes something from me. Reading and writing are and always will be first and foremost for me. Everything else is secondary, and so sometimes, being depleted from non-book life means setting aside things like book celebration in order to turn inward, to embrace the darkness, and to know that the things that bring light will be there when I’m ready. I only ever need to operate at the rhythm of my own heart, as well as the hearts and needs of my closest and truest.

That means books, but it means more than books, too.

To close out 2021, my heart and my love for books and reading are begging to be left to settle. I’m going to honor that and not push myself to produce in the sake of tradition or expectation. The best books I read this year have already given me value that can never be seen or understood, and, without doubt, that’s the best present and best celebration of a year in reading that I could ask for.

How I Am Keeping Organized This Year

February 10, 2020 |

I’ve written before about my low-key bullet journaling style twice. Over the last year and a half, though, I’ve found bullet journaling to not be sufficient anymore for my needs and I took to finding a new system of keeping myself organized, motivated, and reflective of what it is I’m doing with my time every day.

The bullet journal stopped working for me because, as much as it was useful for assessing task importance, it didn’t give me a way to delegate my time during the day nor plan further ahead. I slowly began to shift over to a digital task management system, then realized that alone wouldn’t be enough for me.

Every Day Organization

Enter: Day Designer.

As I noted in the Instagram post above, whenever I lug this thing around — and lug is the right term, given how substantial it is — I get asked about it. The Day Designer is exactly what it promises to be: a way to design your day around time blocks. Every single day has its own page, except for Saturdays and Sundays which are on the same page, and the days are broken down into hours from 5 AM to 9 PM.

In addition to the time breakdown, though, each page offers a ton of other ways to track what’s important that day. There’s space for a top three of the day, for notes, as well as a space for that day’s to-do list. I don’t use the gratitude space in the planner, since I leave that in another place, but there is room for those who want to see that when they open up their planner.

I get up at 4:30 every morning. Having the chance to start planning my day at 5 AM is a game-changer. So many planners start much later, but I do need to get started early. Sure, “reading” and “meditation,” are things I’d likely do automatically, but the act of slotting those into time boxes prioritizes them and is a reminder of what exactly I did with my time on any given day.

I don’t write down every single thing I want to get done on the to-do list each day because I also use a digital task management system. Things is the one I prefer, as I can set up recurring tasks, can reschedule things easily, and I can keep a running list of “future ideas.”

Under “Today” on Things, you get a check list and can just mark things off as you go. You get a nice view of upcoming tasks like that seen above, and you can keep track of ideas in the “Someday” folder. This is where I often brainstorm post ideas or take notes about trends or topics I want to remember to go back to but that don’t necessarily have any due date associated with them. Often, one of the recurring tasks in Things ends up on the Top 3 priorities in the Day Designer, just because it is. I know I’ll do it, but it’s the most important thing to get done, no matter what else pops up during the course of a day.

The to-do list in my paper planner becomes a bit of a dumping ground for things that are small but need to get done: packages to take to the post office, appointments to make, emails to send or follow up with. When I collect those administrative-like tasks together in that space, I’m able to get an idea of how much time I need to allot in my day to complete them. Will it be an hour? Two hours? Or do I move those to another day and schedule a longer period of time to knock out a lot of things at once?

My last tool is one that isn’t updated daily. I have a monthly calendar planner that has just each month of the year. In it, I write down my planned blog posts, newsletter topics, and other regular writing when it’s scheduled. It’s an old-school content calendar and allows me to see what I’ve got cooking so I don’t repeat myself or find myself being bored by writing the same kinds of things all the time. It also ensures I don’t forget to do something.

Goal Setting and Reflection

In addition to the organization system for my day-to-day life, I keep a similarly-large planner for my goal setting. After reading numerous rave reviews of the PowerSheets system, I decided to splurge on one this year. I’m so glad I did!

The PowerSheets ask for a lot of upfront work, but it’s all good upfront work. You reflect on things going well in your life, then think about what it is you really want to get out of the next year of time. Those are distilled into no more than eight goals for the year, which are then broken down even further. Those micro-steps are transformed into tasks you tend to, either over the course of a month, each week, or every day.

Image from https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/.

Every week, I review my tending sheet a couple of times and update it. What did I get done from the month’s tasks, the week’s goals, and the daily tasks? It’s a reminder to refocus and also to allow myself space to deviate — an example is that I make it a daily goal not to turn on my laptop until 7 am and use that time to read and meditate. But sometimes things come up and my morning gets compressed and I need to turn on my laptop for some work. When I look at the daily goals and see that 10 out of the last 11 days have been successful in no turning on the laptop, I do not feel an ounce of guilt for doing it once because I can see how good I am at maintaining the goal overall.

I’ve taken this a step further, too, in that I have been creating themes around my goals by month. February, for example, is “renew,” and it’s when I’m trying to take care of overdue tasks. I went and got my Real ID at the DMV, I ordered new glasses, and I am in the midst of figuring out what to do with my hair. I made myself a massage appointment and will be taking my car in for some overdue repairs I’ve put off. Spending time at the start of the month to put all of those things down and look at them in conjunction with my big goals, I see how each of those moves me closer to the bigger picture in some way. It’s incredibly motivating.

Each month’s tending is paired with a reflection page about what went well and what didn’t that month, which is so helpful and grounding.

I don’t stop at the PowerSheets though. The other tool I use for dreaming and goal setting is the Start Today journal. I’ve written before about my complex relationship with Rachel Hollis, in that I see where she has weaknesses but also that there are a lot of things she talks about and shares that are extremely helpful to me (and frankly, I think a lot of the feedback she’s seen has made her a lot more aware of those shortcomings, as I’m finding myself liking her more and more because it’s clear she’s working and is indeed complex and flawed and sees that!).

Start Today is her methodology, and it requires on fancy journals. I do have one, though, that she sells because I grabbed it on discount. The premise is extremely simple: every day, you write down 5 things you’re grateful for, then 10 dreams — written as if they’ve already happened, so it doesn’t read like a to-do list, and then the ONE goal you’re going to achieve first. This fits in SO neatly with the PowerSheets and gives me a roadmap to success in the grander scheme of things while also inviting me to not only dream, but find gratitude every day.

Journaling

The last tool in my daily regimen for staying organized and grounded is a simple journaling technique I learned from a fellow student while doing my Yoga Life Coach certification.

While all of the above tools are extremely useful, they’re not the best for looking backward. They’re all set in the now or in the future. And while those aren’t bad things, there’s tremendous value in also reflecting and recalling what it is you did in a day.

I use a journal I’ve had at home and answer these four questions every single day:

What brought me joy?
What am I grateful for? (Yes, I repeat something from the Start Today list)
What is it I can let go of?
What am I most proud of?

On days when I am working, I add a fifth question:

What did I work on today?

This gives me the chance to reflect on the highs of a day, the things I’m glad I did, and gives me a reminder of what the heck I am doing with my time, so that when I look back on the week, I can acknowledge that I wrote 4 newsletters for work and recorded two podcasts, had a number of phone calls, wrote a couple of posts, and so forth. It’s the “Ta-Done” list, if you will, and writing it out, as opposed to simply checking it off my planner or task list solidifies accomplishment.

So How Long Does It Take You?

Honestly, half an hour on a slow day. After I get up, I make myself a cup of tea, and while it’s brewing, I generally journal from the previous day or work on the Start Today page. By the time my water is hot, I can enjoy my cup of tea while doing the other, and as soon as that finishes, I often still have most of my tea.

That’s when I crack open the Day Designer and plot out my time for the day. I prioritize things that are on my Things task list, as well as things on my Tending list for the month or week. When I see there’s time in a day, I will get cracking either on the tasks on the Day Designer list or poke through my tending list and make some progress.

That half hour is more than worth it weight in gold, especially when I see each way those tiny steps adds up to a much bigger picture and forward movement toward those big, juicy goals and dreams.

Halfway

August 21, 2019 |

At the beginning of each year, I set myself a Goodreads goal to read 100 books that year. I’m not super strict about the goal (I think regulating your pleasure reading too much can suck the pleasure out of it), but it’s a good way to gauge how much reading I’ve been doing in the year and how it compares to previous years. I’ve found that 100 books as a goal causes me to read just a touch more than I would otherwise, without making me feel pressured to read when I’d really rather do something else.

I just hit the halfway point at 50 books earlier this week, so I thought it would be interesting to take more formal stock of how my reading year has gone and what the trends are in my reading thus far. Here are a few pertinent stats.

Star Ratings

I really enjoy rating the books I read. I fully understand why some people (like Kelly) choose not to – comments on reviews deemed “bad” by authors or their fans can be really aggravating (to put mildly), and the stars don’t really give a nuanced perspective on a book. But it helps me to identify the real standouts at the end of the year. The breakdown for me so far is:

★★★★★ 1 book

★★★★☆ 20 books

★★★☆☆ 24 books

★★☆☆☆ 5 books

★☆☆☆☆ 0 books

I think this breakdown gives some insight into the way I perceive ratings. I had a discussion with some friends the other day about when and why we give five stars to products and services, beyond just books on places like Goodreads. Two of us were very free with five-star ratings, giving them to anything that didn’t have a marked flaw, and the other two (myself included), were a lot more conservative. To me, a five-star book (or movie, or other product ) is one that is exceptional in some way, as you can see by the fact that I only gave one book out of fifty that rating. (For the curious, it’s Birthday by Meredith Russo). On the other hand, when rating people (like a rideshare driver), I default to five stars unless something went pretty wrong. I’m also hesitant to give anything below a three star rating, though I will do it occasionally for books that I finished but didn’t particularly care for. I reserve my one star rating for books that were so bad they upset me; this is much rarer than even a five star rating.

Audience

Adult 11 books

Young Adult 35 books

Middle Grade 4 books

Most of my reading still centers around books for young adults/teens, but I’ve definitely expanded my reading for adults compared to previous years. I’ve also been picking up more middle grade, though I know four doesn’t seem like a lot. I used to read at most four for the year, so I’m on track to double previous years. I find myself reaching for a middle grade novel when I want something a bit quicker that I can finish in a single sitting.

Format

Audio 36 books

Print 14 books

My love for audiobooks continues unabated. Lately I’ve had a really frustrating experience where every time I sit on my couch and start to read a print book, I’ll fall asleep. It has nothing to do with the quality of the book – I only pick up books that interest me – nor the time of day. I fear I’ve trained some sort of Pavlovian response in myself to fall asleep whenever I read, and it tends to happen within just a few minutes. The only surefire time I can stay awake while reading a print book is in the morning, right after waking up after the night’s sleep. While this is fine on the weekends, it doesn’t really work during the week. I work early already, so setting an alarm to wake up even earlier just to read is not really practical. This simply means the majority of my reading is done on audio, and the majority of my print reading consists of pretty short books (all four of the middle grade books) or graphic novels (six so far).

Genre

Science Fiction/Fantasy/Horror 24 books

Mystery/Thriller 15 books

Contemporary Realistic 6 books

Nonfiction 4 books

Historical Fiction 2 books

As expected, my reading focuses on genre fiction. Most of the contemporary realistic books I read were Mock Printz finalists at my workplace. My mystery and thriller reading has really picked up compared to previous years, though, especially with adult titles. I just can’t get enough of the twisty plots, especially on audio – I can’t cheat and flip to the end that way! You might have noticed that the total for this category is 51, because I classified Lovely War by Julie Berry as both historical fiction and science fiction/fantasy. (By the way, if you haven’t picked that one up yet, I highly recommend it.)

Gender

Female 37 authors

Male 11 authors

Nonbinary 3 authors

I tend to read more books by women each year, so this is no surprise. The total adds up to more than 50 in this category as well because one book, Once & Future, is co-authored by Amy Rose Capetta and Cori McCarthy, who are both nonbinary. Included in the female total is one trans author, Meredith Russo. I’d definitely like to increase the trans and non-binary representation in my future reading.

10 Conversation Starters About Books and Reading for Holiday Gatherings

December 3, 2018 |

It’s the season of holiday gathers, which often means making a lot of small talk with colleagues, with family, and maybe even with people you don’t know at all but have a shared relationship with (think: your friend’s friends). But even beyond the time of gathering, there can be times when making small talk becomes crucial. So why not have a few go-to questions prepared to get conversation rolling or to engage someone you’re interested in knowing better around a topic that you’re passionate about? Enter a guide to 10 conversation starters about books and reading.

I’ve sat through hundreds of panels in my time as a YA lover/librarian/writer, and I’ve also moderated a fair number. Those experiences, coupled with a life lived in books and around other readers, has allowed me a lot of time to think about the kinds of questions that are interesting to ask other people. These questions can get personal and deep, but they’re meant to spark thinking and discussion beyond the weather or one’s career.

These 10 questions about books and reading are a starting point. I’d love to know of any others you’ve used in the comments, and I’d also love to hear about the results if you do try any of these. I’ve found that I have learned so much from people, even those I thought I knew well, by asking some of these questions. The last question here is one that, if you’ve seen me moderate a panel, always comes up because I think the answers are fascinating and insightful.

10 Conversation Starters About Books and Reading

1. What is the first book you remember reading when you were young and have you ever reread it? Why do you think that particular book sticks out in your memory?

2. If you were stranded on an island and had only the books in your bag with you to keep you company for an uncertain amount of time, what three to five books would they be? Why?

3. Have you ever been part of a book club? If so, what did you like or dislike about it? If you haven’t — or if you’d like to join another one — what would your dream book club look like? How frequently would it happen? What kinds of books would you read? Would it be run by a celebrity and if so, who?

4. If you could host a dinner party with any three authors from any time in history, who would they be and why? Alternately, which three living authors would you want at your dinner party?

5. What genre of book do you find most difficult to read? What genre do you gravitate toward?

6. Do you listen to audiobooks? Why or why not? If you do listen to them, what are your favorite kinds of books to listen to and do you have a preference on narrator? On listening speed? If you don’t listen to them, what might interest you in trying one?

7. What is your favorite memory related to a library? If you don’t have one, talk about why that might be. Alternately, what teacher introduced you to some of your favorite books or read a book to you that you remember?

8. If you could switch places with any author for a year, who would it be and why? (Assume you’d have all of their abilities, so you’d be doing the work they’re doing at their level!).

9. Imagine you’re put in charge of a publishing imprint and get to decide the kinds of books you’d edit and publish every year. Or, alternately, you’re able to purchase the books for one category at your library or favorite bookstore. What kinds of books would they be and why? Is there any person, writer or not, you’d want to publish a book or purchase a book from?

10. If you could go back in time and give your 12-year-old self any book, what would it be and why?

Borrowed But Not Returned

October 22, 2018 |

I rarely borrow books from friends. Part of it is that I’m happy to pick up a copy of a title recommended to me at the library. The other part is knowing that, given the fact I regularly rack up sizable fines at the library for overdue books, I’ll likely not return books lent to me from others in any sort of timely manner, either.

When I moved in January and packed up eight years’ worth of living in the same place, one of my priorities was weeding my book collection. I managed to clean out quite a bit. Most went to a local shelter that gives books to young people who often enter the shelter with nothing but the clothing on their backs. A few went to the recycling bin because they weren’t in any worthwhile condition or they simply weren’t the kind of thing that might interest a younger reader. I didn’t think a whole lot about the books in my possession which weren’t mine. They ended up in the flat bags I moved books in and made their journey across state borders to settle into their new homes.

And yet, the books we borrow — whether we’re habitual borrowers or rare borrowers — tell us something, don’t they?

I know there are two books on my shelf which are borrowed from others. One is a massive literary tome and the other a slight book of comics.IQ84 by Haruki Murakami came to me in the fall a few years ago, while I was spending a long weekend with my friend in Houston. She was a fan of the book and knew I was a fan of Murakami’s weird fiction. I knew I wouldn’t get to read it in any reasonable time frame because it’s just so big, but she insisted I borrow it without worrying about getting it back to her in any reasonable time frame.

The book sits on my shelves still. I haven’t cracked it. I’m still intimidated by size, despite knowing I’d probably enjoy it. In the interim years, my friend left Houston, moved to Vermont, then moved to Ottawa and became a Canadian citizen.

Even though I haven’t read it and, quite frankly, don’t see myself reading it any time in the near future, each time I see it on my shelves I think of her and remember that weekend. I think, too, about how many great conversations she and I have had about books and reading, about recommendations we’ve passed back and forth. About the times she’s texted me from the airport to ask for a good airport bookstore title she could read while traveling around the word.

The other book still sitting on my shelf, unreturned, is one I’ve read. Then read. Then read again. It’s a book that I know I’ve had the chance to return numerous times, but I think back to how much I enjoy the book and it never seems top priority to return it when given the chance.

Early in the librarian career, I wanted to up my knowledge of comics and graphic novels, and a friend who loved comics (and at the time, was married to a fellow comic lover) brought a stack over for me to read. This included some superheroes, but it also included a lot of non-franchise, non-serialized titles to peruse. Peanutbutter and Jeremy’s Best Book Ever never seemed to return home with them.

Peanutbutter and Jeremy is a comic about a cat named Peanutbutter who dresses in a fancy hat and tie because she believes she works in an office. Jeremy is the clever crow who lives in the tree outside Peanutbutter’s house. The comic is much like Tom and Jerry but it’s really Peanutbutter and Jeremy — Jeremy spends his days trying to trick Peanutbutter but at the end of the day, they develop a close friendship. Kochalka’s art is delightful to look at, and I think part of why the comic resonated with me so much was that it’s appropriate for young readers and older ones, in a style that reminds me a lot of Sara Varon’s comics (Robot Dreams is my all-time favorite comic).

I wonder about returning the book in a different way now than I do with IQ84. The friend who lent it to me got it from the partner she’s no longer with. Would it be awkward to return it to her? I don’t know him well enough to broach the subject and, if I’m being honest, I wonder if it would stir weird things with him, especially if he is unaware I still have it. Maybe he never knew it was in my possession to begin with.

Perhaps I’m overthinking it all together and, after a certain time frame of it not being brought up, it’s now something for me to keep hold of and own as my own. An unexpected gift, given without the intention of it being so.

In my personal library, I can think only of these two books as borrowed. I definitely returned some titles to their rightful owners before moving, but these two hung on. Part of it is my interest in reading them (in the case of the Kochalka comic, rereading numerous times). But perhaps a bigger part is that both come steeped in specific memories and moments with individuals in my life that I hold onto and need to hold onto for just a little longer.

I’m grateful to not owe them late fees, as I’m forever in debt to my local public library.