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On Blogging, Responsibility, and Content Ownership

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Every once in a while I think about blogging about blogging. It feels meta, but periodically, something in the blogging world catches my attention and I think about the value of writing about writing.

Being a blogger is being part of a community — one that’s both populated by bloggers and by those who enjoy reading blogs but don’t necessarily blog themselves. Both of those groups constitute a readership for a blog, and the reasons behind readership don’t necessarily land neatly into any categories.

Bloggers who read other blogs don’t necessarily do so because they want to read about blogging; they read because they care about the person who is writing or they’re interested in what they have to say about whatever it is they choose to write about (or parts of what they choose to write about, even if it’s not every single post they write). Readers who don’t blog may choose to read because they love the topic at hand or because blogging is something they want to pursue some day. Maybe they read because it’s part of their professional development or because they find that the blogger shares a lot of similar thoughts that they have but don’t express openly. Perhaps they read because the blogger is someone they regularly disagree with and they enjoy that tension (and that’s legitimate and awesome — I read a few blogs that I disagree with because I love seeing the other side of a book review or belief about reading/books).

Whatever the reason behinds why someone reads a blog, bloggers write because they like to and they write the content they feel compelled to write. Even if the thought of readership isn’t at the forefront of the blogger’s mind, it’s always there: what you choose to say or not to say is indeed thinking about audience and readership. There’s a reason there’s very little personal content at Stacked, except in the context of a review or discussion of a book or reading. Besides the fact this is a book blog, personal things aren’t what I want to share in this space except when I feel comfortable enough doing so, knowing that my readership can see whatever it is I write.

Not everything every blogger writes will be of interest to all readers. That’s the beauty of blogging. It’s like a magazine in that the content that’s of interest can be absorbing, but the stuff that’s not going to capture your interest is easy to skip over. You can still appreciate the effort or idea, even if it’s not your jam.

But a blog is a blogger’s space. The blogger gets to make the decisions about what she or he writes about, how she or he presents it, and how she or he chooses to be upfront or honest about whatever they share with their readership. In turn, that readership responds in some capacity.

Your blog is your reputation.

This is all an introduction to talk about a few things in going on in the blogging world I feel are worth talking about both to those who are bloggers, as well as those who aren’t. It’s not a how-to, and it’s in no way a guide to how to blog.

Rather, I hope this can generate some discussion about blog and blogging related topics worth talking about, since a few have popped up recently that deserve to be talked about, both with those who blog and those who don’t write but who consume blog writing. This may be the first in a series of posts on blogging over the course of the next few weeks.

Do you blog for or about?


Kim Ukura wrote two posts in the last couple of weeks that I think are must-reads for bloggers, both those who are new and those who are seasoned. The first, Why Isn’t Just Reading Enough Anymore, talks about a new program through Crown Publishing Group called “Blogging for Books,” wherein bloggers register and agree to review books in exchange for copies of those books.

I think readers and bloggers know that many of the books we review here at Stacked, as well as books reviewed at other blogs, come from publishers. They’re sent to us solicited or unsolicited, either as review copies (meaning they’re imperfect) or as finished copies, or they’re available to take at conferences such as ALA or BEA. I can’t speak for Kimberly, but I can say I personally request very fewARCs when pitched; I get seasonal packages from some publishers, wherein the bulk of their YA catalogs are sent to me, but only when I know there’s something I really want to read and consider for review do I take the time to ask the publicist. It’s a time and space issue — there are only so many hours in a day, and there’s only so much space in my house. Likewise, I know my tastes well enough that I can guess whether title is going to work for me or not. A lot of times if I end up not requesting a title and I see a lot of positive reviews of it and change my mind, I can grab it at Netgalley or Edelweiss or I wait and either buy it or pick it up at the library.

I never feel obligated to review anything, and even when I do accept or request a title, I always note that it’s for consideration and I never make any promises. Sometimes, I don’t get to a title in a timely fashion, and sometimes, I read it and decide I don’t want to review it (sometimes I just don’t feel like writing a review and that doesn’t reflect the book but my interest in writing). Other times, I may sneak a mention of a title into a book list or into a discussion about something else I’m interested in.

And sometimes? I don’t do anything with the book.

What Kim talks about in the post, though, isn’t that. Crown’s program, while it looks like an awesome way to streamline blogger requests, has some serious strings attached to it. It requires a review in exchange for the ARC/book that is requested, and it asks that bloggers not just write about the book on their blog, but that they should then share that review across all kinds of outlets, including retail outlets and other social media the blogger may be on. Doing this builds buzz for a title.

Kim’s second post, on her personal blog, dives deeper into the “Blogging for Books” program. She talked with a program coordinator and had some of her concerns not just heard but they were put into consideration and aspects of the program were reworded. But, like Kim, the standout to me in the response was this: “Just as there is an understanding that a blogger would review a book after requesting it, we are reflecting that arrangement through Blogging for Books.”

There is never an arrangement between blogger and publisher. It’s not an understanding, and it’s not an arrangement. A blogger isn’t beholden to a publisher nor are they beholden to a book. A blogger is beholden only to his or her blog and his or her audience.

That’s it.

The vast majority of publishers we work with are wonderful, as are those authors who pitch at us directly. Like Kim, I utilize the phrase “for consideration” when making requests, as well as when I agree to a pitch. There’s no agreement something will happen; I get to make that choice when it comes to reading and I get to make the choice of whether or not I write about it. If I read something and don’t think our readers would be interested, I’m not going to write about it. If I don’t want to write about something or if life gets in the way of something, I’m not going to push myself to do it. This is my space and Kimberly and I both agree that when this stops being fun, then it stops being what we do.

Because here’s the thing: I don’t blog for books. I blog about books. Those two little words are extremely different. One suggests there’s obligation and the other does not.

I blog for my readers about books. I’m not paid by anyone to write what I write; the advertising revenue we generate goes right back to our readers in the form of giveaways and minor site hosting fees. Bloggers work exceptionally hard at what they do when it comes to reading and thinking about the books they’re reading, and they work hard at writing about them and getting that information out to their readers. They do it because it’s a passion and an interest, not because they’re employed by a publisher or an author or a marketing company to do so.

My favorite part of Kim’s first post is this and I think it’s worth repeating:

It’s frustrating that it’s not enough to just read. Readers now have to share everything they read with followers across a variety of platforms with hashtags and @ replies to interested parties. It’s not even enough to write reviews of books you love. Those reviews need to be on retail sites and pushed out through social media too. Being a good reader means being a good “word of mouth” marketer without any of the perks that come with having that job.
Now, I’m not saying that enthusiasm is a bad thing. I love to gush about books that blew my brain or were just a ton of fun to read. It’s fine to love independent bookstores and advocate for readers to buy local. And it’s even okay to express support to one side in a business dispute if you disagree with the business tactics of a particular conglomerate.
Readers can evangelize, but we should only do it for the books that truly deserve it. If readers enthuse over every book, it makes that enthusiasm dishonest – a problem for readers, publishers and authors. You can’t be a sincere evangelist for what you don’t really believe in. And if you don’t really believe in it, no one should ask you to evangelize for it.
Enthusiasm shouldn’t be required or even expected of readers. Readers should not be pressured or cajoled or guilted or tricked or passively forced into being enthused or publicly sharing that enthusiasm on behalf of The Publishing Industry.

Blog for yourself and your readership. Be enthusiastic authentically, not because you’re told to be that way. Don’t blog because you want books. The books will be there.

Your readership though? They might not be.

Sponsorships and Disclosures


Tangentially related to blogging about, rather than for, is something I’ve seen popping up more and more, and that’s sponsored posts. Those are posts written because the blogger is being paid to write the content.

Sponsored posts can come in a variety of forms. Over at Book Riot, I wrote a sponsored post for the “I Read YA” campaign last month, wherein I got paid a small amount (under $30) to write a post about YA fiction. That was the entire requirement — I could write anything I wanted to, and the content was mine to decide, to execute, and to share. I had no limitations put upon me. I chose to write about diverse titles coming out this year because it was a post that added value to my own reading life and it was one I knew that my readership and the readership at Book Riot would want to see.

At the very top of that post, there’s a disclosure noting that it is a sponsored post. I suspect no one noticed that and no one cared because the content was all mine.

Kimberly and I have never written a sponsored post here, and I think it should be obvious from the prior section of this post that we’ve never felt obligated to review a book here, either. We’re picky about taking on blog tours because we know what we like and we know what our readers do and don’t like seeing. I suspect were we approached about a sponsored post, we’d take the exact same approach as we do with tours: is it something our readers would care about? How much control would we have over the content?

This is our blog, it’s our space, and we’re beholden only to ourselves and our readership.

While I haven’t seen it so much in the blogopshere yet (though I’ve heard rumors which haven’t been substantiated), I have seen some sketch examples of sponsorship popping up in other bookish arenas of the internet. Last week, for example, I saw a BookTuber/Vlogger with a massive following do two sponsored posts in a row. Not a huge deal.

The problem was that one of those sponsored vlogs was a book review, and the note about it being a sponsored post — again, content that has been paid for — was buried in the very bottom of the notes section under the video. It would be exceptionally easy to miss and never see, and the video itself didn’t make the disclosure. While there are ethical questions to consider about that, the real issue for me presented itself in the fact this was a sponsored review.

The vlogger was paid to review the book, and the disclosures were hidden.

This is a huge red flag to me, tying into to a lot of the issues mentioned above. How can I trust that review is authentic? Can I? What about the vlogger’s other reviews? At what point do you give up your audience’s trust in exchange for a few bucks from the publisher?

Sometimes, you get the opportunity to do a sponsored post, which means a little extra cash. There’s no shame in taking that on, but I think there’s a lot to be discussed more openly about the ethics of how sponsored posts work. Upfront disclosure should be a must, and what of reviews that are sponsored? Because there’s a huge difference between reviewing a book received as part of a blog tour or as part of a publisher’s mailing or requested by a blogger where there is absolutely no cash or goods exchanged and reviewing a book for which you got paid to review.

Is it for the book or is it about the book?

The Landscape


Are there other interesting issues within the blogging world worth talking about at this point in the game? I’m sure there are. For the most part, I like to just write. I love looking things up, thinking about them, then considering what the takeaway is. And for me, the takeaway is both what I get out of writing and what I think readers may get out of it. It’s fascinating to see that even after 5 years of doing this, it’s worth reminding myself and readers — both those who blog and those who do not — why blogging is great and why it matters. I think it’s clear that it’s a powerful medium, one which people want to get in on because it makes a difference.

The bottom line of blogging for me is this: am I adding something to someone’s day?

Because if I’m just adding noise, rather than value, I’d rather step back and reassess.

Being authentic

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I’ve been mulling over Janssen’s blog post all week. If you haven’t already, please go read it.

What she talks about is something I think about a lot and something I think relates to blogging, as well as something that relates to reading and reacting to books. I’ve talked at length about how challenging it can be to blog, and how challenging it can be to review books. But what it all comes down to, I think, is that little word: authenticity. Blogging and thinking about reading are challenging because they require you to be authentic in how you approach what you’re thinking about and in how you say what you hope to say.

When your blog is your voice and that — in conjunction with Twitter and other social media — is how people get to know who you are and determine whether or not they care about your thoughts and how you present them, authenticity is all you have to bring to the table.

I think there is tremendous pressure to always be “on.” I remember even talking about one of the tips to being successful (however you measure that) with blogging is by always being on, even when you’re not on. Many bloggers I know and respect are just this way. Because what you’re passionate about is what you write about, you keep your eyes and ears aware of whatever’s going on, even if you’re not working on something. Because finding fodder can happen by chance. I find a lot of times my best thinking comes in those moments where I accidentally stumble upon something interesting or worth discussing, rather than when I seek it out (especially when it comes to things like writing book reviews for a blog tour). This is a big reason why I say no to a lot of opportunities that come — unless I’ve already read the book or am eager to read it, the chances of me finding a lot of fulfillment in meeting a review deadline are slim. It’s not the book’s fault. It’s not the blog’s fault. And it’s not my fault either. It’s just a matter of being authentic and true to what it is I want from my work blogging and reading.

As April pointed out and I keep returning back to, blogging isn’t a competition. We’re all doing our own things here. Just because another blogger has found success tackling one topic, that doesn’t mean I can’t tackle a similar topic here with my own spin. And vice versa. Likewise, I have no reason to worry about how many reviews I write and post per week or month. I blog the way I want to blog because that is being authentic. It’s being true and honest about myself and what I think, as well as how I want to express my thoughts on anything. Sometimes I read a slew of books in a row that don’t speak to me enough to merit a lengthy blog post or even a short blog post. Sometimes I purposely dig to find those books which aren’t getting much attention, both new and older books, in hopes of being able to talk them up a little bit.

Sometimes what I want to write about cuts across into deeper issues or things I’m thinking about. Things that as I write them, I find myself feeling incredibly vulnerable for putting it down and then putting it out there. What scares me is far less what the words say (because I wouldn’t write them if I weren’t being true and honest) but more about what the perception is thereafter. I don’t particularly worry about what people think of me as a person because I’ve reached a point in my life where if people don’t want to like me, so be it. But I do worry about what the perception is in those situations where people are interacting with me in another forum. Am I the same person elsewhere that I am here when I blog? Or when I find myself in a heated discussion on Twitter?

Absolutely.

The only time I ever feel I’m not being myself is when I’m not being honest. Or when I’m not finding myself worrying and stressing out about little things like this. Where I’m not biting my nails about a blog post I have scheduled for this week that puts a lot of stuff out there about which I’m still working through intellectually myself.

This blog is my work. I make it that way because I love it being that way. But like any work, it comes with baggage, too. There’s a responsibility in knowing when I’m being authentic and when I’m not, and there’s a responsibility in knowing that some things will be worthwhile and others won’t be. There’s ups and downs, regrets and disappointments, and there’s plenty of good things, tangible and not. Even when it’s lonely work, there’s a community to call upon and one which totally gets what you’re going through. Maybe it’s just me, but it feels like the blogging world has been down lately. That there’s been a lot of feeling down and pressured and overwhelmed. That we’re all feeling a bit of a slump with reading, with writing, with sharing.

Because it is hard to be on all the time. Because it is impossible to be on all the time and be true to who you are and what you are getting out of this.

Authenticity is stepping back, evaluating where you are and what it is you’re pressuring yourself with, and making choices about how to proceed from there. And honestly? I’m having a hell of a time with it lately. I am exceedingly happy with what this blog is and what it is to me, but there are so many times I worry about whether it’s good enough, whether I’m doing enough or whether I’m doing too much or whether it’s becoming noise. It goes both ways. I worry about when I’m putting too much out there and when I’m not giving enough context. Because I want it clear where my thinking is and where it comes from. I want it clear what it is I am bringing myself.

I’m not the kind of person who feels in competition with others. I feel immense competition with myself. It’s one of those things I constantly wish I could push through — if I could let myself be off for a bit, would I feel better? If I quit worrying about whether I was being at my best all the time, would I feel better? If I chose to blog less during the week, would I drive myself crazy because I’m not producing as much? Or would I feel better because I’m letting myself have space? At what point would I be making things better or worse for myself?

I am the only person who has the ability to answer these questions. But figuring out the answers is tough because nothing is right and nothing is wrong. It is only what it is to me. 

Expectation and reward

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I’ve been sitting on this for a few weeks now — which is how I feel I start all of these posts about blogging and about reviewing. But I think it was really April’s post today that got me to sit down and hash out my thoughts a bit on this. So before delving in, I urge you to read her post about how blogging isn’t a competition.

Back in May I blogged about how blogging is hard. And I still believe wholeheartedly in that. Maybe more so now that I’m reflecting back on how the last couple of months have been for me when it comes to blogging. I’ve got a pile in a double digits of books I want to write reviews for, but every time I sit down to tackle it, even for books I am really eager to write thoughtful posts for, I manage to convince myself writing about something else is more worthwhile. I’m not sure whether that assessment is or isn’t true, but it pulls my mind away from working on the task in front of me.

I am and always have been the all or nothing type, and it goes into everything I do. I blog and I blog with my whole heart. I read and I read with my whole heart. I write and I write with my whole heart. I think anyone who knows me would say that about me and I hope that those who are close to me would say that that’s how I am with people I care about, too. It’s just who I am.

But when I find myself in a dry spell in an area, I cannot make myself do anything relating to it. So I’ve hit this dry spell in writing reviews that’s lasted for months now. Even as I felt like I finally broke through the wall this week by writing a lengthy — and I think strong — review for a book I’m posting later this month, I stepped back after I scheduled it and wondered: why?

Blogging is and always will be something I do for myself, but more than once I wonder why I do it. I get a lot out of it and it has connected me to so many people and so many good books. I don’t feel like I’m exaggerating in saying that blogging has changed my life. It’s made me a much more stable, happy, and thoughtful person than I was before. Some of that is simply growing up because who I was at 24 when I started this blog is hardly a slice of who I am now at almost-28 writing this blog. Part of me wonders how much of it is learning about different aspects of my profession and about the book and reviewing world (two or three or four or five or more separate things all sort of co-mingling) that jades me a bit and part of me — maybe a bigger part of me — wonders about people and the straight-up human aspects of blogging and writing and engagement and how much those have influenced me in the last few months. It’s never really been a secret, for example, that authors might buy reviews of their books and it’s never really been a secret that some bloggers have preferential treatment from publishers. What has been surprising, though, is what people respond to and what sets them off.

I feel like I learned this lesson hard after the ARC discussion following ALA. Who knew something so … innocuous … could send people into such passion? Or that discussing being critical or being passionate about what you do would get people thinking and talking? Who knew that blogging about a fitness DVD could, dare I say, cause a number of people who hadn’t been working out to suddenly dive in? I love that that happened and I love thinking that maybe something I said inspired one person to try something new. That’s awesome. It really is.

But then I think back to writing reviews and books and why I wanted to start blogging in the first place. I pour my heart and soul into the reviews I do write because that’s just who I am. It’s all or nothing. Lately, it’s been nothing, and I wonder how much of it has to do with the fact I don’t know what reward I am getting out of writing them. Or maybe that’s not really it. Maybe it’s that I don’t feel writing a review of a book commands the sort of discussion or interest or passion that other posts do.

Or maybe it’s that the things I listed as having fantastic responses and engagement have made me do a lot of thinking about what I’m doing this for anyway. Is it me? I think it is. But then I wonder why I feel so discouraged when reviews sort of slide under the radar or when they’re drowned out. Maybe it’s that reading is a much more private activity? Or that it’s something so personal and individual that it can never sustain the sort of fevered discussion other topics do? Maybe it’s that other bloggers with whom I like to talk regularly don’t want to read or engage in a discussion over a book they haven’t read yet because they don’t want to be influenced (I do that).

I’m not sure I have an answer.

Anyone who knows me in real life knows this about me, too: I’m not a loud person. I never did well in the participation aspect of any class I took. I prefer to sit back and listen. I like to hear what other people say and process it at many different levels before I respond. I’m highly introverted. I love being around people but I need me time to decompress, to recollect myself, to recenter. Blogging has forced me to push outside a lot of my comfort zones. Maybe what would be surprising is that a lot of those bigger posts have made me really uncomfortable.

I love discussion and I love when people are engaged in content here and I certainly don’t want that to stop. It’s what makes blogging exciting and keeps me wanting to continue. It makes me want to look for other people who are blogging and writing and share their great things with others, too. But in a lot of those discussions, I feel like I lost a bit of myself. Of my need to refocus and recenter. Of my need to reengage with my own thoughts.

Writing reviews is that very introverted part of me. I think they’re the most intimate and raw things I do write because they come from a lot of internal vulnerabilities or thoughts I’ve had about any number of things. Part of me wonders if other people feel this way, too, and if that’s what makes writing them so difficult sometimes. If that’s why there are long periods of nothing followed by bursts of energy to review, review, review. If that’s why there’s not always much engagement with book reviews, despite how much I think one I’ve written just nails it perfectly.

It’s not about pressure for me, and it never has been nor will it ever be. It’s more about my need to dig inside myself and pull from sensitivities, from experiences I don’t always feel comfortable thinking or writing about, from all these lessons I’ve learned over the course of blogging and just growing up and becoming the person I really strive to be. There’s all and there’s nothing. And right now, there’s been a lot of nothing, but not for lack of trying or care.

At the end of the day, it’s about what I expect from my own reviewing and my own writing. The reward is self-discovery and self-gratification and feeling as though I’ve walked away from what I’m doing with my whole heart with some kind of reward. The droughts — especially ones that have dragged on as long as this one has — are painful and annoying. All I expect is to walk away feeling like I’ve done what I love doing.

Blogging is hard. Writing reviews is hard. Putting yourself out there is hard. It’s a constant struggle for how much to say and how much to hold back. It’s also about image and perception and approachability. I love when people want to reach out. But how much can I give back fairly to everyone and still hold something true to myself? I know I owe nothing to anyone expect myself, but when you’re a blogger and when you love the way people engage with you, there’s a lot of thought behind where you draw the line in the sand. And when you’re an all or nothing person, it’s tough. You want to give your all where you can, even if it means at some point you may leave yourself with nothing.

I have to keep reminding myself it’s okay. I am an imperfect person, and that is okay. There are things I don’t have to do until I feel ready to do them, and that is okay. If I declare book review bankruptcy on the things sitting in my pile because I just don’t have it in me . . . that’s okay. The only expectations and rewards required are the ones I get myself.

Maybe blogging this does the opposite of what I’m saying I want, but I share it because I have a feeling there are many bloggers — new bloggers and more seasoned bloggers — who will understand this or empathize with this right now, in the future, or have struggled with it.

We’re human.

It’s okay.

Post at The Hub & Other Oddities

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My best friend and I started a tradition in college when we were both feeling really unable to get anything done. We decided we needed an item, some sort of thing we could see or wear, that would remind us that taking care of business was within our own hands. One night we bought a pair of matching sparkly headbands and we started referring to them as our power bands. Whenever we needed just a little bit of a kick in the pants to finish a project or when we HAD finished a project and were celebrating, we’d put on the power bands.

It’s been a few years since then, a number of moves between the both of us. We’ve both broken the bands since then. When she was out here in May, we went looking for replacements, but we didn’t find them.

Then I took myself out a couple weeks ago to celebrate my new job, and I found a pair of sequined headbands. Replacement power bands. One for myself and one for her. Last week, I mailed one off to her, which she told me she got today. I popped mine on in honor, then I took to putting it to good use.

All of this is a long story to say I finished something today for STACKED that I feel has been a work in progress for months. It’s been a goal of ours to have all of our reviews alphabetized and organized and to pull together all of our features into one place. While we have tags on the sidebar, they’re a bit of a mess and not the easiest to wade through.

But now, you can access all of our reviews, our guest posts, our interviews, and our features in one place. You can find that link right on the top of our blog, now called “Reviews & Features.”

It’s my goal to eventually organize the tags on our blog and to maybe make cover features and book lists easier to find. That’s a job for another day and another power band wearing session. Because the other thing going on today is this:

I’ve got my monthly roundup of debut novels coming out at YALSA’s blog. Check it out. It was fun to talk about two of my favorite reads of the year over there because they happened to be debuts.

My power band has been put to good use today.

Truth: Blogging is Hard

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This morning I sat down to start writing reviews of a few books I’ve finished lately that don’t come out for a few months. Usually, I try not to read too far ahead of pub dates for books for a number of reasons, but one of the big ones is that I end up sitting on pre-written reviews for months. That isn’t a bad thing in and of itself, but sometimes it means that something being published soon or something published not too long ago doesn’t get my attention right away.

I think I’ve mentioned before that I don’t review everything I read. If I did, my reviews would be much shorter. But more than that, I like to write about books that spoke to me in some way — either because I really liked something about the book or because something really didn’t work. I find, too, I get way more satisfaction writing a lengthy, critical review over a few things, rather than writing a bunch of smaller reviews of many more things. So yes, sometimes things get overlooked and yes, sometimes I read something everyone else has read. I just don’t feel like blogging about it. I blog for me, first and foremost.

But as much as blogging is something I do for myself, it is something I also do knowing full well I am blogging for an audience. And let me tell you: I appreciate the fact people actually read this and people care. It’s amazing and fulfilling in a way that’s not easily expressed. So thank you.

There are times, though, I find myself wondering why I put in the effort or whether it’s worth it. Blogging sometimes feels like work. I sat down today to catch up on a handful of reviews I want (note: want — not need) to write, but I couldn’t make myself do it. I really liked a couple of these books, and I really want to express that here. But I couldn’t make myself put words to my thoughts. Instead, I caught myself rereading some of my older reviews and thinking about why I write them in the first place. I put the pressure on myself to write them and I’m pretty adamant about the fact I will review what I want to review and how I want to review them. No one is pressuring me. Even when I take on review copies, I don’t force myself to write a review if I don’t want to. I don’t see a reason to because this is my blog and if it means that someone doesn’t want to provide me a review copy in the future, so be it. It doesn’t change the fact I can acquire the book when it comes out.

Writing a review can take me hours. I do it because I like to think about what’s at the heart of the book and what makes it work or not work. I’ve got a mental list of things I go through when I write a review, too, of certain elements I want to touch upon. I don’t hit them all in a review, but I do think about each one of them. A good review can take me two or three hours to write, and it can take me another hour to reread, revise, and prepare (and sometimes, to be honest, that is in and of itself draining when you’re looking for images, saving them, fighting with Blogger to format them correctly, and so forth). And except for that very last part, I love the process. I love thinking about how to construct a review, how to speak about what the book does or doesn’t do well, how I can convey it best with my own words. It’s a huge mental challenge. It’s writing. I’ve been writing my whole life. Blogging has just been one of the best means of doing it and doing it regularly.

I don’t compare myself to anyone else who is blogging because it’s just not my style. I don’t really care what other people “are getting” from blogging. I know what I get out of it, and that’s good enough for me. When I write a good review or a good post, it makes me feel good. I get satisfaction knowing I’ve expressed physically what I’ve been bouncing around mentally.

But as I sat down to review today I found myself completely disinterested. And it wasn’t just today. I’ve been putting off some of these reviews for weeks. Over the last couple of months, I’ve put off writing reviews for books for weeks, too (in one instance, I put off writing the review for 6 months, even though it was a book I loved and wanted to talk about). As much as blogging is for me, I know I blog for a readership and an audience, too.

There’s this competing voice in my head that also reminds me of that when I sit down to write a blog post. It’s not just for me, or I’d not use blogging as a platform for my thoughts and then promote it. It’s also for readers (of all shapes — I don’t know exactly who reads STACKED). There is a level of interaction and engagement that comes from blogging, and I find myself thinking about this when I do write a review. I’ve talked before about how I think stats are a load of crap because they don’t tell you anything about a blog other than it gets a lot of traffic. It doesn’t show or tell you anything about effort or about heart or about passion.

If you go through the first page of STACKED, you can see what gets people talking. It’s not book reviews. That’s not to say people aren’t reading book reviews or thinking about them. They just don’t interact with them the same way they interact with sexier content. And writing that sexier content — posts about covers, sharing amazing interviews and guest posts, posting the lines I’ve been reading — is  fun to do. It only becomes further reinforced as fun, too, when you see people are talking about what you’re writing or sharing. Seriously. It’s FUN.

Writing book reviews, as fulfilling as they are, though, sometimes feels like work. Like a job. Even if I’m setting my own limits and making my own decisions about what I am and am not reviewing, it still can feel like work. And I always wonder if they feel like work for readers, too. I know it’s not the case. I know intellectually that devoted readers read everything (or at least skim it). The reviews are there for those who are here for book reviews. They’re the perennial readers who are going to be there no matter what. These are the same readers who often don’t comment. And that’s okay.

But it still sometimes makes sitting down to write a review so, so hard. Because the response sometimes just isn’t there. There’s not a payoff at the end of it except for whatever it brings me personally. But it doesn’t make it any less hard.

I say all of this but I also own this: I am a terrible blog commenter. I read a lot of blogs, and not just book blogs. I read a number of excellent author blogs, a number of excellent publishing-related blogs, and an excessive number of food blogs. But I’m terrible at commenting or at interacting with them. It’s not that I don’t care — I do or I wouldn’t read them — but it’s that I don’t always think to do it or I mean to do it and click out of the browser or, really, I don’t have much to say. But then I have these moments when I’m doing my own blogging and I remember just how much work and effort goes into blogging, no matter what the topic. I know I’m much better at commenting off-blog than I am on-blog: on Goodreads, I can click “like” easily and let someone know I read and appreciated their book review. On Pinterest or on Facebook, I can do the same or I can leave a quick comment with a “thanks.” I don’t know why it is that when I’m reading a blog, I don’t stop to drop a thanks or I don’t stop back by and follow up when I’ve read/cooked something recommended there. I think the internet “like” has made me lazy.

The truth of it all is that blogging is hard. It can be fun and fulfilling — and it is both of those things — but it is so much work, too. I put the pressure on myself to do what I’m doing, but that’s just because I am who I am. That doesn’t change the fact, though, it’s hard and at times draining. That doesn’t change the fact I get burned out or tired or wonder why I put in the effort at all. Because blogging both is and isn’t for me at the same time. I stress about little stuff (never the big stuff) and lately, it’s been reviews and why I write them or how I write them or if anyone even reads/cares about them at all. Are they for me? Are they not for me? I’m still not sure sometimes.

Just like an author worries about how their book will do when it’s out in the world, I worry about what I write and post right here. It’s not the same but it is the same. It’s sharing a part of yourself and your thinking and even if it’s something you’re passionate about and love doing, it’s still work. It takes effort and sometimes you wonder and worry about whether it’s worth it at all.

I’m not going to quit blogging or quit writing reviews. I find satisfaction in it. But I know I speak on behalf of a lot of bloggers who get to this point. This burnout, this worry about whether or not it’s worth the effort happens, happens to every single person who ever spends the time to write and share what they write. It’s just hard to talk about.