I’m so, so excited to share that today is the big day that The V-Word: True Stories About First Time Sex, edited by Amber J. Keyser is out in the world. It was two years ago, almost exactly, I got the email that it would be happening, and I was honored when Amber asked me to take part in this collection.

I’ve read the entire book cover-to-cover and think it’s a powerful look at virginity and sexuality for teen girls. It’s mature and honest and raw, but it’s not explicit or sensationalized by any means. Not only are the stories themselves good and cover a wide range of experiences, voices, and sexualities, but the back matter on this book is killer (I say that not just because I contributed to part of that).

In honor of The V-Word‘s release, here are my top five reasons why you should pick it up and put it on your shelves, especially if you work in a library, a school, or with teenagers in some capacity.

 

1. You can read about the first time I had sex (unless you’re family and I am telling you don’t do it). 

Writing this essay was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. And it wasn’t so much hard from the standpoint of knowing that a lot of people would know about the first time I had sex and all of the details of it, but more, it was scary because I unpacked a lot of baggage surrounding sex and more specifically my body.

My essay is about the importance of choice and choosing when it is you’re ready to have sex. It’s about how when you think you’ve made a decision and then deciding it’s not the decision you really want to make. It’s also about how you can believe you’ll never be a person who has sex and then one day … you do.

I’ve been told that my essay is “unexpectedly funny,” which might be the best phrasing I’ve ever heard used to describe my writing. I’m proud of this piece, and I like to think it’s going to be relatable to many, many girls; it’s a piece of work I wish I could have given to my 14 or 15 year old self and in many ways, it’s a love letter to me as a teenager saying that things will be good and work out.

 

 

2. A Question & Answer section about female sexuality and the media, especially YA books.

I’m so proud of this contribution I got to make to the back matter of this book. Amber and I had a great back-and-forth exchange about how sex is represented in the media, and I talked at length about the kinds of books that are showcasing female sexuality well, as well as what we might be missing.

These were not easy questions, and I spent a lot of time researching, reading, and writing at length about what we’re doing well and what we suck at when it comes to talking about teen girls and sexuality. I spent a good chunk of time talking about choice (and how it’s just as valid to choose not to have sex as it is to have it), about masturbation (can we talk about why it’s “female masturbation” when referring to girls doing it and just “masturbation” when referring to boys?), and much, much more.

 

3. This is a female space.

Something I am passionate about is girls stories and girls voices. No one would say otherwise, of course, but this book truly highlights the importance of both. I grew up without any kind of resources like this, and one of the things I talked about in my essay was how a lot of my sex education came from living in a dorm room. I met girls and guys who knew way more than me, who were much more experienced than me, and who also opened my eyes to how girls are viewed sexually (my piece, not to give too much away, begins with a male friend and I coming close to having an experience and him talking to me about how he valued me too much as a virgin to take that from me — so much to unpack in that statement, right?).

Here’s the thing: we don’t talk with and to girls about sex enough, and when we do, it’s too often from the context of “do it and be safe” or “don’t do it at all.”  This book explores the nuances, as well as the variety of experiences, sensations, and questions girls have about sex and their bodies. This is a million times more informative, insightful, and truthful than a sex ed class is because all of the women in this collection are sharing their own stories.

None — zero — of the stories are at all the same.

I have a confession to make here, and maybe it’s one I shouldn’t make because it offers a glimpse into a side of me I don’t share often and one that I fight so hard against. When Amber began talking with me about this anthology, she shared two sample essays. As I read them, I thought to myself my story is so boring and no one will be interested and wow, I am as boring as I thought I was and why do all of these other women have such fascinating, wild accounts to share?

But those questions are why my story is important. And of course, with as many stories as there are in here, those thoughts I had have no merit except that they showcase the very reasons why The V-Word is important. All of our stories are valid, no matter what they look like or don’t look like.

 

 

4. Excellent reviews, including a star from Publishers Weekly!

This book has gotten a ton of great reviews. I’m particularly taken with the star it got from Publishers Weekly, and I also appreciate the thoughtful comments about my Q&A with Amber in the SLJ review. (There’s also a great BCCB review, which isn’t available online).

 

5. Teen-centric non-fiction is where diversity is at.

I’ll never forget when Malinda Lo posted a picture of the non-fiction section at Barnes & Noble and noted that it was the most diverse section in the YA category. Not only is that still a reality, but that diversity in non-fiction is also reflected within the collection itself.

I’m making an effort this year not to call things “diverse,” but instead use the term “inclusive.” And this book is utterly inclusive, not only across the racial and gender spectrums, but also across sexualities. This is a collection teens will see themselves in in so many powerful and important ways.

Likewise, a collection of essays that’s inclusive is a way for teen readers to know that all of their voices and stories matter.

 

I’m honored to be part of this collection and thrilled it’s a real thing on shelves. Thank you, Amber, for extending an invitation to me so early on and all of your hard work making this book a reality.

You can pick up The V-Word from any of your favorite booksellers.